Alex Hoffman

I like pizza rolls.

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

@energyinsights I just moved to OK and had gas scheduled to be setup today, prior to record freezing temps, but no one showed!?! No phone call, no weekend customer support I can call, no one to contact. Thanks a lot, I get to drop a few hundred on a hotel so I literally don't die

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

@Num1HandsomeBoy I'll see ya again in 3 years

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

I understand why Taylor Swift wrote an emo song about suicide, because that song makes me want to kill myself

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

@Num1HandsomeBoy Like she owns the place

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

@Num1HandsomeBoy Hey Paaawwwllll

[Emperor Trumpatine @RealTrumpatine]

Many people say "you have to call them Tusken Raiders." I'm not so politically correct, folks. Just call them what they are - Sand People!

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

@Num1HandsomeBoy she stared at it uninterested, went and ate some food, and fell asleep

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

@mozellamusic is my spirit animal

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

I don't know of how much an airport beer costs... But I think I'm going to cry when I find out. #brokecollegestudent #yolo #youonlyyoloonce

[JHardwick @thejhardwick]

For the 6th pick, Atlanta selects... the backstreet boys?? RT@ConceptsofNike: Atlanta Falcons Concept Uniforms #CON http://t.co/KOrlOSyXjb"

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

No Antonio

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

@alexmwelch @wsbtv WE DIDNT LISTEN!!!

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

I learned something today, Google maps has a black color for traffic.

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

How hot is it inside a taun taun?.... It's Luke warm.

[EA SPORTS FC @EASPORTSFC]

DAY 14: EA SPORTS FC Chrome #XboxOne! Follow @EASPORTSFIFA and RETWEET to win our grand prize! #14DaysofFIFA

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

Give a man a Twerk, he'll Twerk for a day. Teach a man to Twerk, he'll Twerk for a lifetime #twerkgospel #TwerkingWithGod

[Sterling Archer @codenameduchess]

You know why I run? Because Fat Archer Who Ate His Way Through Europe is right behind me. #ShameJogging #ArcherFX

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

@herpderpdupuy TWEET TWEET!!!!

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

https://t.co/sdDauG77M4 poses a philosophical question, "What does the fox say?"

[Alex Hoffman @OhHeyHerfman]

@thejhardwick Finkles a man!!!