Jose Gutierrez

Former child.
Current Fantasy football champion 🏆

[Jose Gutierrez @OhHeyJose]

In case you wanna know about my most recent fail, I haven't used my laptop in a year since we celebrated Arturo's birthday virtually. So we all had chosen funny backgrounds. I had a zoom interview and had no idea the background was still on there. Here is what my interviewer saw.

[Nicky The Good @nickythegood]

Behind every good man there’s an untouched $5 iced coffee that his wife hasn’t touched in 2 days in his refrigerator

[talmon joseph smith @talmonsmith]

"Alexi left us!"

Zlatan: “America, you’re welcome”

[Pedro L. Gonzalez @emeriticus]

There is no amount of money you could offer me to humiliate myself on a daily basis the way Vance does. The guy simply has no core, no shame, no charisma. He is the purest sock puppet to ever disgrace political office, an empty suit making human sounds.

[General Will🇦🇷🇺🇸 @GamecockWill69]

TSA Agent: “You are hiding ranch in your carry-on aren’t you?”

[The Man in the Black Pyjamas @pyjamas_black]

Yeah he was up front for Portugal

[cream drizzyクリームのドリップ @shrampmannne]

Jelly Roll makes music for single moms who post on fb asking if anyone is selling a microwave

[Antifa_Ultras @ultras_antifaa]

Australian fans chant at the #2026WorldCup:

“Aussie boys are on a bender, Donald Trump is a sex offender.”

[Domino's Pizza UK @Dominos_UK]

just sharing this again - no reason

[trash jones @jzux]

i eat popcorn like someone is going to take it away from me and then kill me

[Billie @Billie_T]

The haters said Ronaldo couldn’t do it and they were right. Honestly great call from the haters

[1eozim @1eozinho01]

Eles evitando bater forte pq senão é mais um mês com ele fora de campo

[Hater Report @HaterReport]

Messi fans after a successful Ronaldo hatewatch

[BearsShowYo @BearsShowYo]

Messi in the World Cup: 3 goals
Mbappe in the World Cup: 2 goals
Haaland in the World Cup: 2 goals

Ronaldo:

[Jeff @JeffFcb14]

João Neves y Vitinha cargando a Ronaldo en el mundial

[Max Stéph @maxstephhh]

Being compared to Messi

[StatMuse FC @statmusefc]

Cristiano in 90 minutes vs DR Congo:

0 goals
0 assists
0 shots on target
0 chances created
0 big chances created
0 dribbles
0 ground duels won
0 fouls won

Cardio.

[B/R Football @brfootball]

Cristiano Ronaldo is goalless in his last 10 Portugal games at major tournaments:

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐂𝐮𝐩:
❌ vs. Uruguay
❌ vs. South Korea
❌ vs. Switzerland
❌ vs. Morocco

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐄𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐬:
❌ vs. Czechia
❌ vs. Türkiye
❌ vs. Georgia
❌ vs. Slovenia
❌ vs. France

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟔 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐂𝐮𝐩:
❌ vs. Congo DR

[Hater Report @HaterReport]

Ronaldo when Portugal attacking

[Swish 🍒 Tennis @Zwxsh]

Reporter: "No F-bombs please."

Corentin Moutet: "Fuck fuck fuck."

Reporter: "I'm gonna ask you one more question so please keep it clean, okay?"

Corentin Moutet: "Fuck fuck fuck."