OMG Mom Stop

JFC, Ma you’re SO embarrassing

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Today, my child finally called forth the sacred text: the family scrapbooks. I have been waiting *so long* for this moment

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GO CLEAN SOMETHING AND THEN GO TO YOUR ROOM. YOU FAILED THE VIBE CHECK.
I’m not angry just disappointed.

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If I start singing and my kids don’t come in on call and response or backups everybody is on punishment.

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Literally anyone of them will confirm this is a fact.

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Anyway, happy birthday to my grown ass man. I hope they embarrass you as much as I would if you were home. It’s TRADITION. 🥰 love you shmoopie.

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The oldest is at basic training rn. Tells me not to send him any food or anything embarrassing Bc the drill sgts go through everything

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So for my kids bday I sent him a book via Amazon and in the notes I said something like “happy birthday to mommy’s special boy”

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1000% chance I’m stepping on a SkyeCopter, half a Dino-nuggie, and what appears to be a crop circle constructed from hot wheels on the way to the kitchen at 5am

[OMG Mom Stop @OhMyGodMomStop]

Ma: I should introduce AI into the house as a research tool.

Puddin at 6:52 am on a Saturday:
HEY GOOGLE, WHERE DO GOLIATH TARANTULAS POOP?