Krista

Professional Lorem Ipsum translator.

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

There are only 2 types of horror movies that legitimately scare me:

1. Shark movies

2. Childbirth videos

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

@MBMBaM @travismcelroy @JustinMcElroy

All I’m saying is that “20-Grunt-with-Me: Deeper than Words” was there for the taking. 👀

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

@RedsGM 69 others??? Nice.

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

the first person to ever yell “free bird!” at a concert was just trying to get rid of his parrot

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

Thanks @harry_styles for spending 1,211 minutes with me in 2022. I couldn’t stop listening to Late Night Talking. #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/PQqcvXMIY0

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

Eminem: snap back to reality 🎶

Midwesterners: OPE there goes gravity 🎵

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

Missed @yamhaus band name opportunity

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

is Ethan Allen one guy with a first name for a last name or two guys?

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

@joncoopertweets Robin Williams, hands down, forever

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

Bisexual people are ambisextrous

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

@Johnisnotamused I mean at least Maxwell frost?

[Cordelia The Fool @WanderingChord]

The fun thing about posting mean jokes about Elon Musk on Twitter is you know there's a startlingly huge chance he is actually going to read it and it will hurt his feelings.

[That No Good Snake @npelley]

@JonHansenTalks Nextdoor is wild. It's all "There was a strange man in the neighborhood. He had on a USPS shirt and was driving a USPS truck, but he isn't the same mailman we had last week. I called the police. Be careful out there friends."

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

@joncoopertweets The rowboat

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

@ET_Californian I mean, let’s not judge — living like that would make ANYONE mean.

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

Aaron Carter.
That hits me right in the childhood.
What is our fame churn and burn culture doing to people?!

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

“If you put your mind to it, you could definitely develop a coke habit. I believe in you babe!”

Love how my man’s always hyping me up. 🥹

[Krista @OhMyKrista]

I talked to a fake @TomFelton on Neopets for at least a year when I was 12.

He probably could’ve talked me into just about anything.

This is scary.

[Rob Kazinsky @RobertKazinsky]

Years ago, before verified accounts were a thing, back when I was on Eastenders, I was contacted multiple times by parents of children who had been “conversing” with me online. 11-15 year old children that had been talking with a fake me.
I was informed one of these children-

[Fuck You I Quit @fuckyouiquit]

Bet unionizing is looking real good right about now