Let me get this straight.
If you start talking to me everyday and night, I'm obviously gonna get attached to you. Even if I never planned to in the first place. I will. So before you start getting close to me, make sure that you won't just suddenly leave me. Cause you know, that happens to me a lot.
I think I lost my spark. I don't talk as much anymore, I keep to myself, and I've mastered the art of distance. It's not that I'm mad or bitter. I just don't have the energy to show up the way I used to. Somewhere along the way, I slipped into this "I don't care" phase, ghosted people without meaning to, and became comfortable in my own silence. Maybe it's healing, maybe it's just exhaustion. Either way, I'm learning that sometimes, pulling away is part of finding yourself again
I'm sorry, but my days of chasing people are over.
If you're not making an effort to stay in my life, don't get upset when I start doing things without you.
It's exhausting when you keep finding yourself in connections that almost feel right but never quite land where you need them to. You open up, you give your energy, you try to create something real, but after a while you notice that you're the only one emotionally present. You start to feel misunderstood.
You wonder if you're too much, or if you're expecting too much. And what makes it more confusing is that, on the surface, the connection seems great. The conversation flows. There's intellectual chemistry. You feel seen, but not held. Heard, but not felt.
sometimes I wonder what it feels like to truly live instead of just survive. to wake up without already feeling behind. to breathe without carrying the weight of yesterday, and to exist without constantly fearing what might go wrong
i hate how physical touch as a love language gets reduced to sex and kissing when it's more like... handholding, laying your head on their shoulder, putting your legs over their lap, tracing their palm, tucking your feet under their thighs. just touching for touching's sake.