Joseph Paradiso

Baller!

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

How “I have an extra stomach for dessert” mf’ers look at you after you kill them and open up their insides to prove that they do in fact only have one stomach.

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

The walking escalators at airports make me feel like Sonic

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

BO2 on PS5 feels like crack. This is the most alive I’ve been in years

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

I think I enjoy when they put the lemon, rather than the cherry, in the sprite. The lemon adds a tartness already present within the sprite whilst the cherry adds a whole new element to the mix. And I don’t think I want that in my sprite

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

Flight just got cancelled. BUT THEY CANT STOP ME 😤 #SwitchedFlights

[Rita Repulsive @entheoalchemist]

Alex Guarnaschelli on an episode of Chopped where the mystery ingredient is xanax

[Whimsy Knoxville ☠️✨ @alackofwhimsy]

This is like watching the Mona Lisa be painted.

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

I’m a fan of Gorillaz. But I really wish they would show noodles feet more :/

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

Me whenever someone offers me a Sprite Zero instead of a normal sprite

[shadoomf🪲🇵🇸(homunculus enjoyer) @Shadoo_creeture]

Seething stagcel HORN-MOGGED by low-cortisol rhinomaxxer

[🎭 @deepfates]

The secret to riffing is being able to make a surprising connection faster than other people for this purpose. For this reason, I keep a reverse hashmap of all jokes I've ever heard, indexed by punchline. So I can find the joke in O(1) time

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

This is like Patrick in that one episode of SpongeBob

[Robert Skvarla @RobertSkvarla]

America 250 is going well

[rae ✮⋆˙ @clitlord77]

my fav part of viva la bam is when they would add subtitles to vito and it still made no sense

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

I’m tryna get on cash cab!

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

Love grows (where my rosemary goes) has a very obladi oblada vibe to it

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

Kuromi was robbed!

[Sanrio @sanrio]

The results are in! 🏆 Congrats to our winners of the 2026 #SanrioCharacterRanking contest 💖 👑 Full results here: https://t.co/YSqRKkGZQ1

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

Hate that my goat is washed and rooting for the Mets

[New York Mets @Mets]

Join us at @citifield on Saturday, August 29, for Peanuts Day! The first 15,000 fans will score a Mets Snoopy Plush 🐶

🎟️👉 https://t.co/a6hTqxA7Fh

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

Supergirl was just fine. #PutTheGunnDown

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

OneRepublic >>>>

[Joseph Paradiso @OkayJose01]

@barstoolsports Deserved