Old Lady Kicks

A body is a trap, and there is no way out.

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

I want nothing. Except to shove my nose into a jar of Unkers Salve and inhale deeply. #MothersDay

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

Echoes on #Netflix is if someone threw a Hallmark Christmas movie cast and a domestic thriller soundtrack together in a Vitamix with plain yogurt and a lot of whispering. #review

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

Can someone please go get Nicole? #90dayfiancetheotherway

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

How is #Snowman the top movie on #Netflix? Everyone looked the same and wore a big coat and mumbled and it made no sense.

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

I’m don’t want to be in pictures. When I die if the kids don’t have any pictures of me, well, they should have paid more attention when I was alive. #toofat #YOLO #photograghy

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

Is Virgin River just a longer Hallmark Channel movie? Or can I expect an eldritch horror to make an entrance soon? #VirginRiver #somuchcrying #getonwiththereno

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

@NihlistOldFart But have you seen that car commercial where they drive a Jeep up a mountain and then many stairs? #domitthis #suckitnature

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

Boomer this. #okboomer #okmackenzie

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

Does water aerobics exercise count if I enjoy it? #ExerciseAtHome

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

Well, yes I *am* wearing my hoodie with the air conditioning on, as a matter of fact.

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

If you could be skinny for one week but then when you went back to your fat body you were 7 pounds heavier, would you do it? #weightloss #fattwitter #diet

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

@ExpressoBikes I would ride so much faster if you would let me pick my avatar’s outfit.

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

Watched Brittany Runs a Marathon last night. Good to know every fat character still comes accessorized with a plot arc that involves triumphantly losing the weight. #fatnesseverdeen #PrimeVideo #fatterthanyou #fatterthanbrittany

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

Why does Goldman have two different brands of bottled water? The only logical answer is that one is spiked. #ImpeachmentHearings

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

@NihlistOldFart An eternity of consciousness + Hallmark Christmas movies.

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

I did #IntermittentFasting for 3 weeks, a 7 hour eating window between 12 and 7, and gained 2 pounds. I am underwhelmed by the effectiveness of this strategy for health and wellbeing. #diet #whatdididowrong #help

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

It's not that I'm mad at @RepStefanik, it's that I'm disappointed in @RepStefanik. #ImpeachmentHearings #elisestefanik

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

@ChapJordan79 Well spotted, Laurie.

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

Marie Yovanovitch scarf: Coach or Bvlgari? #ImpeachmentHearing

[Old Lady Kicks @OldLadyKicks]

I don't want #DisneyPlus. I want to eat spiced meats, watch @fleabag and nod.