Don’t stop achieving! So proud of my co-founder and I for reaching this goal. We have taken up a new opportunity to put our labouring skills to the test. Contact YuraPurv Co. for the longest and hardest wood in the business.
This is a moment in my career that I will always remember.@ManjiManjdog whispered in my ear “You’re my idol”. As he held me, I felt a sudden poke near my pelvis. It was hard, yet soft. I think he had a Cadbury’s Creme Egg pointing outright, inside his shorts. This is football.
All good things come to an end sadly, today @SmegUnited have decided that @ManjiManjdog will be forced to hang up his boots and progress onto coaching following relegation. #MBE#CovidCAM
I want to disclose. Some wild accusations have crossed my path following my last tweet. This was a promotion for supporting children hospitals. I would never have any sexual encounters with children that are not my own!
Hey fans, got valentines blues? Why not spread some love to the young children hospitals. Check out this link to touch kids that need some warm love inside of them: https://t.co/eEJOz6ARWh. #FeelTheWarmthOfAChild#ValentinesDay
Management @SmegUnited has been dreadful. They’re trying to make me look like a fool. I’m nearing my 60th this weekend and they’re pushing me into retirement. I managed to get an off-guard snapshot of them when speaking to them earlier:
There’s been a lot of speculation in the media recently, following a “negative statement” issued by me. I have never been abusive to my teammates, nor would I ever. #AndysCock#ILoveYouAndy#FakeNews
Today has been an important day. After being tightly marked by an opposition, I felt a bulge in my rear - It felt... good. Following the game I released a statement in the post interview to be my true feelings. Finally glad to come out.#OutTheCloset#MajorGay#BulgeInShorts#Cock
@HRKUnitedPS5@MNeekz I request that you reconsider your decision with the new evidence I submit: I am not eligible for a MOTM as I classify as a ‘non-binary-left-footed-trans-cow’, thus meaning I am not a “Man” of any match. The only time I did win MOTM was before my transition.
aHEad of us is a Lot of DediCAtion and determination to keeP on Top. I’VE come to realise tHat wE alL have a Part to play. we Must not lEt emotions get the better of us. #PleaseReadCaps#Suffering#SecretMessage
There’s been a lot of rumours going around recently about me potentially leaving @SmegUnited. Yes, we’re shit. Yes, we’re racist. Yes, some of us may have ongoing disputes in court about potential sexual assaults. But that’s football!