Old Alec

Posts about navigating the responsibilities of fatherhood as a new dad of 2.

My mission is to help new dads be more prepared than I was when I became a father.

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

I blitzed into fatherhood.

Engaged, married, home purchase, & 1st kid all within a calendar year.

2nd kid 18m after the first.

I had to adapt quickly to survive. It was tough, but my wife & I are strong.

I share what I learn in hopes it will help other new dads out there.

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@docanarchy @BowTiedGarden What’s your opinion on MMR?

I’m delaying as much as possible, but still nervous about giving it even at 3.

I’ve delayed and spaced out everything else as much as possible.

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@thenicolaspizzo @MindTendencies2 Seo

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@unflinchingdads @thriving__kids Added benefit of the Hue (and similar) bulbs is you can program your lights to be full red at night, making it less jarring if you get up to piss.

I used to be in the lighting industry and use programmable lighting to trigger my toddler’s bedtime 😁

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@unflinchingdads @thriving__kids Buy either color changing bulbs like the Phillips Hue (there are plenty of affordable options) or bulbs that can adjust between warm and cool light.

You want your artificial light to be as “warm” (which means red) as possible at night - “warm” = 2700k and below

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@AJA_Cortes Bro

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@BowTiedBoardGam I did not have “Small Soldiers will become a real thing” on my bingo card, but here we are…

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@sacredwildman That’s the ideal. Homeschool pods with like minded mothers.

Next best is well vetted daycare and earliest possible pick up.

The large chain daycares and kids staying from 7 am to 6:30 pm are the worst in my experience.

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

The collective village model hinges on the village being an extension of the parents.

This means shared values, fundamental parenting style, and culture.

The issue is many daycares are NOT this. Most times, they are the opposite.

That being said, it’s not realistic for a majority of parents to avoid daycare.

Thus, the priority becomes finding childcare that aligns with your family values. Vet the program, the teachers, the admins, etc.

That plus maximizing the time you have with your kids can still be a winning formula.

[Samantha Watkins @_samantha_joy]

> We need to return to a collective, village model of parenting, where a whole community provides childcare.

*Parents send child to daycare*

> No, not like that! That's abuse! Children need their mom 24/7.

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@Stoic_Father The biggest lesson I learned after 2 babies - the isolation can destroy you.

Your wife is a good friend.

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@Dynastus I pray this isn’t true. Hoping it’s just engagement bait fiction.

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@SpiritedSparr0w I like to take one or two quick pictures + journal about my experience in a place.

Journaling helps better remember and revisit the experience, and the picture is a good visual trigger.

You’re right, too much time behind the camera diminishes the experience and memory of it.

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@eckiam As with all things, those that are elite at their craft are always a marvel.

Incredible, gifted teachers really are special. Few and far between.

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@BarretNobelFit Same. The second baby amplified this.

There’s so much going on all the time that you need dedicated time to ensure ongoing alignment.

The day to day chaos, lack of sleep, overnight changes your kid experiences all exacerbate even the smallest misalignment.

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

I moved twice after my wife's first positive pregnancy test.

Once to get closer to family & friends. Again because we weren't close enough.

The moves were tough - especially the second, which happened during my daughter's first month.

But we're not alone... and much happier.

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@SpencrGreenberg 8th grade AP English.

Was the first time a teacher assigned reading and said "You have until x date to get it done."

Also the class in which I read Pride & Prejudice and Crime & Punishment. Still amongst my favorites 15+ years later.

[Lincoln @flabbytofit99]

Parenting your children has 4 major phases.

Get stuck in one and you cause friction with your kids.

Learn the 4 C's of parenting and how to move to the next stage.

A thread:

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@flabbytofit99 The male urge to grow a mustache as he enters the Cop phase.

Great thread. These types of frameworks are so useful for guiding how we should behave day to day.

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@Stoic_Father “As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.”

- James Allen, As A Man Thinketh

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@EliteGolfer69 @_samantha_joy It’s an approach to educating kids that emphasizes independence, hands on, self directed learning, mixed age groups.

Classrooms are organized to promote learning. Teachers are trained to motivate kids to learn (rather than force them).

It’s becoming increasingly popular.

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

@ModernDadSG My wife and I were fortunate. We had centrally located family & friends & just needed to move near them.

But even if you don’t have that - get to know your neighbors, befriend the parents of your kid’s friends.

The “go it alone” mindset makes things harder than they need to be.

[Old Alec @Old_Alec]

New parents drown when they go it alone.

My wife & I built a support network that's made 2 under 2 a breeze.

Grandparents take over when we need a break.

BBQs & park with young parent friends on warm, sunny days.

Local mom group for empathy & community.

Build a network.