Oliverio

Papantla wireless flyer, master information tech, geekster sibarita...

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

My CISO called me at 3 AM last Tuesday.

"We caught someone."

I asked, "Caught them doing what?"

He said, "Typing."

Let me explain.

We have an employee in IT. Great worker. Always online. Never complained. Perfect Slack etiquette.

One problem.

His keystrokes were arriving 110 milliseconds late.

One hundred and ten milliseconds.

That's 0.11 seconds.

The average American remote worker has 20-40ms of latency.

This guy? 110ms. Every. Single. Keystroke.

My security team ran the numbers.

That latency doesn't come from a bad router in Ohio.

That latency comes from Pyongyang.

Our "Senior DevOps Engineer" was a North Korean operative.

Running his work laptop through a laptop farm.

In America.

While he worked from a government building.

In North Korea.

He passed the interview. He passed the background check. He passed the vibe check.

He did not pass the speed of light.

Here's what people don't understand about physics:

Light travels 186,000 miles per second.

But it still has to go through China.

And China adds latency.

Since April, Amazon has caught 1,800 of these attempts.

Eighteen hundred.

I called an emergency meeting with my board.

I said, "We need to implement Keystroke Velocity Auditing across all remote employees."

They said, "That sounds invasive."

I said, "You know what else is invasive? The Democratic People's Republic of Korea in your Jira tickets."

They approved the budget.

We now monitor keystroke timing to the microsecond.

If your latency exceeds 60ms, you get a call from HR.

If it exceeds 100ms, you get a call from the FBI.

We've already flagged 47 employees.

Turns out 44 of them just have bad Wi-Fi.

3 of them are "still under investigation."

The lesson?

You can fake a resume.

You can fake a background check.

You can fake an American accent on Zoom.

But you cannot fake the speed of light.

Physics is the ultimate background check.

Hire accordingly.

[Oliverio @Oliorama]

Vamos por la novena #TigresUANL

[Club Tigres 🐯 @TigresOficial]

𝑷𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐 𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒖𝒅𝒐, 𝒑𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂 𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒂...

[Oliverio @Oliorama]

Cuarenta y cuatro teen

[Oliverio @Oliorama]

Mis #Dodgers de toda la life #WorldSeries

[Doritos Mx @Doritos_Mx]

¿Te imaginas tener un certificado de terreno en Marte? O mejor aún, $10,000.

Con Doritos® lo único que tienes que hacer es comprar productos participantes, escanear tus bolsas vía WhatsApp y participar para poder ganar.

[TF @tigresfootball_]

QUE PERRO JUGADON ARMARON MIS PINCHES TIGRES

GOLAZO DE JUAN BRUNETTA 🔥

[Club Tigres 🐯 @TigresOficial]

¡Ganó la 𝐔!

[Club Tigres 🐯 @TigresOficial]

Con la garra de los Tigres y aguerrido el corazón, enorme noche de futbol en el Volcán.

Marcador @CEMEXMx.

#SiempreContigo 👊 #EstoEsTigres 🐯

[Oliverio @Oliorama]

@MemesSV7 Un meme del 2010

[Oliverio @Oliorama]

@TheToriParadox

[Lukáš Ronald Lukács @lucxsronald]

Isaac del Toro posting this photo to his TikTok with the audio saying this 👇🏼👀

“You have to want it more than everyone else. Not just a little more. Not just enough to talk about or try when it's convenient, but with an obsession that borders on madness. When they're sleeping, you're working. When they're complaining, you're adapting. When they're celebrating small victories, you're already focused on the next mountain. When they quit because it hurts too much, you push through the pain because the alternative, giving up on what matters most to you, hurts even more.

This isn't about talent. Talent is overrated. This isn't about luck. This is about hunger. A hunger so deep, so primal that it consumes you. It's about wanting something so badly that you're willing to sacrifice what others won't. Endure what others can't and attempt what others don't dare.

Of course, there's a price. Relationships will strain. People won't understand. You'll miss moments you can never get back. But that's the test, isn't it? If those obstacles right before you are enough to stop you. If the sacrifice seems too great, then you didn't want it enough.

Someone else wanted it more. Someone else was willing to bleed more, to risk more, to give more of themselves to the pursuit. Ask yourself, what are you willing to give up? What comfort can you sacrifice? What pain can you endure?”

#GirodItalia

[Oliverio @Oliorama]

@nocontextfooty @leomessisite

[Oliverio @Oliorama]

@TigresOficial @CEMEXMx #fueraPizarro

[Oliverio @Oliorama]

Una vez más

@Skipie_ @grumpymunky_

[Club Tigres 🐯 @TigresOficial]

El Clásico Regio es de Tigres.

Marcador @CEMEXMx.

#SiempreContigo 👊 #EstoEsTigres 🐯

[Oliverio @Oliorama]

@delfinagomeza ya estoy listo para ser juez y meterte al tanque

[Oliverio @Oliorama]

@delfinagomeza La marchanta haciendo propuestas: vamos a “combatir” las tarifas al acero y aluminio con propuestas de laboratorio de prepa con amaranto.

[Oliverio @Oliorama]

@DonPerIgnnon @LaReimers pssst

[Oliverio @Oliorama]

@martinolimx @Luisarturogd82 ya cámbiate de equipo chavo

[Oliverio @Oliorama]

@CANACERO Pero apoyaron a Morena!

[Oliverio @Oliorama]

@isaacsolar El nuevo gordo de morena que llegó a robar.
Su elocuencia es digna de estudio, especialmente en el campo de cómo decir mucho sin decir absolutamente nada.