Beth Olsson

The original Mommy Monster. Footballs are spheres. Raspberries suck. Bella ciao. she/her

[Seth Abramson @SethAbramson]

(THREAD) This thread from a NYT-bestselling Trump biographer and former criminal defense lawyer offers the most comprehensive breakdown yet of the most explosive testimony about a POTUS ever: Stormy Daniels’ testimony. I’ll be working off court transcripts.

Please RETWEET.

[Beth Olsson @OlssonB]

Also sent a DM. No response.

[Beth Olsson @OlssonB]

Are you kidding me @BestBuy??? I spent the day working from home to receive your @GeekSquad delivery and when I couldn’t answer my phone because I was on another call, they don’t leave a message THEY JUST BAIL??!!! Unbelievable. Should have gone with @HomeDepot

[Beth Olsson @OlssonB]

And now they will DELIVER on the 10th but won’t INSTALL until the 12th. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS??

[Atlanta United Fútbol Club @VamosATLUTD]

Acá tienen su pizza para el viaje 🍕✌️

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

A British writer penned the best description of Donald Trump I’ve ever read:

“Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?”

A few things spring to mind. Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed. So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever. I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman. But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers. And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface. Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully. That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead. There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless – and he kicks them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

• Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

• You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum. God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish: ‘My God… what… have… I… created?' If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.”

-Nate White

[Beth Olsson @OlssonB]

@odettestone07 I’m in Norway right now and surprised at how many houses I’ve seen flying their flag because I didn’t think other countries did that. Also ran into some Alt UTD fans in our hotel lobby! 😂

[Beth Olsson @OlssonB]

Hey @GetSpectrum what the hell? 24 hours and still no ETA to get service restored??

[Atlanta United FC @ATLUTD]

Clean sheet and three points 🔒

[Beth Olsson @OlssonB]

THE #NYREDBULL CURSE IS BROKEN!! #ATLUTD #THEMFIVESTRIPES

[Beth Olsson @OlssonB]

I #VoteAlmada for @MLS Player of the Matchday!

[Beth Olsson @OlssonB]

So it’s 7:53 pm. I have gone the whole day with no #AtlUtd #spoilers planning to enjoy the game tonight since I was traveling today. Just fired up my season pass and promptly had the final score spoiled on the game icon. 🤬 Also I want to bake cookies for Caleb Wiley! 😍

[Beth Olsson @OlssonB]

@terrinh73 @DirtySouthSoc @ATLUTD Wonderful tribute!

[Beth Olsson @OlssonB]

Home opener!!! So hyped!! #ATLUTD #uniteandconquer🔴⚫️🔴⚫️ https://t.co/UlvzgEQgMg

[Jeremy, Writer & Dad & Collector of Parks @JeremyWingert79]

My hot take is that most of us have not adequately processed the trauma of the pandemic. And our sprawling, unprocessed trauma chews away at our brains in myriad ways that make us anxious about why we can’t seem to live our lives as instinctively or as joyously as we did in 2019.

[Beth Olsson @OlssonB]

And this is the basically empty first class line.

[Beth Olsson @OlssonB]

This is the line at @FlyTPA to drop my SELF-TAGGED bag at the @Delta counter. The the actual fuck is even happening here?

[Beth Olsson @OlssonB]

This is the line at @FlyTPA to drop my SEL-TAGGED bag at @Delta. What the actual fuck is happening here?

[O&Y @olive_york]

We have one 🇺🇸 to give away! 🎁

Size 2XL.

RT and tag a friend who would be happy for you to win!

*must be following us to win

[Beth Olsson @OlssonB]

@phenobarbarella for my dad!

[O&Y @olive_york]

We have one 🇺🇸 to give away! 🎁

Size 2XL.

RT and tag a friend who would be happy for you to win!

*must be following us to win