Philadelphia Dark-Money

haven’t lost a staring contest yet

[·𐑕𐑧𐑕𐑸 (𐑐𐑮𐑴𐑒𐑮𐑨𐑕𐑑𐑦𐑯𐑱𐑑𐑦𐑙 𐑸𐑒) @alfalfaBeto]

Tom Osborne is the prince Philip of Nebraska

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

Follow your dreams

[Devon Hardware’s Wife @thatfrood]

I had a dream where there was a food called “King’s Hand”, a hollow hand made of m&m cookie, filled with Greek salad.
I could not stop thinking about it.
Here is the culmination of a week long effort.

[Kids Write Jokes @KidsWriteJokes]

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SHEEP WITHOUT IT'S HEAD , LEGS AND ARMS AND FACE

1 PIECE OF GUM

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

Airports: Where floor space near outlets is prime real estate and booze is served from always to forever o’clock. #flyinghigh

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

For your consideration: Anyone who can mend clothes quickly is a “Tailor Swift.” #TailorSwift #TaylorFast

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

Yes, #LadyOnTheBus, I know you’re late. We’re all late. We’re in the same vehicle. Throwing a tantrum doesn’t solve your bad time management. #GetAWatch

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

Says every millennial at least once in their life without meaning it: “Hey we should totally do an Escape Room!” #escaperoom #sayseverymillenial

[A bear @A_single_bear]

Sometimes it is very difficult to be a thing that exists but I hope we all keep existing as the things we are.

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

I bet you Truck Month is just another Hallmark Holiday. When will we get our wholesome vehicle holidays back? #truckmonth #hallmarkholiday

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

Universal truths: There will always be a point in the haircut when you think you’re about to be done...and then it goes for three more hours. #barbershop #newhairdo

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

Gah, I’m so hungry, I could eat anything right now. (No food magically appears in front me) Welp, guess I’ll starve.

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

Ways to Use a Cat #83: Convince the cat to sit on your lap when you know something needs to get done. Aha you say, can’t do it got a cat here. Oopsie whoopsie. #cats #marriage #TheSecretsOut

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

Just apologized out loud to my podcast because of the wind making it hard to hear. #thisamericanlife #endoftheday

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

Me: Am I sitting normally? Making eye contact? Looking interested? Nodding at correct times? Crossing my legs the right way?
Also me: Oh shit the meeting’s over. #officelife #adulting

[justspew @kyle_jamo15]

The past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared.

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

What do you call this mix of pride & embarrassment? This tamale of emotions? #feelings

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

My aesthetic:
#SteamedHams #Auroraborealis https://t.co/ZDmtlRYHzy

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

Four original members x three grades in the order... #illuminaticonfirmed #NationalOreoDay

[Philadelphia Dark-Money @OmaBosPgh]

Maybe we should end
All our lovely haikus with
Albus Dumbledore
#dumbledore #haiku