I don’t know when it just became the norm, and I know it will continue, but ripping emotes from @7TVapp , BTTV, or FFz and using them as subscriber emotes on @Twitch is whack af. Support the artists in your community and have some commissioned.
The more I see the less I know. Feelings of Isolation and not belonging are at an all time high. The only things I know for certain is things can’t continue like this, and that I miss you.
It sounds stupid and it’s admittedly teetering on paranoid delusion. But I’ve seen this system my whole life, and it’s a bunch of smiles and “good intentions”, that are all about profit at the end of the day. The technicians are nice but the machine is not.
I genuinely don’t know what will become of my health from here. With what I have available here, I’ve tried looking after myself. But getting back into doctors, in a system I have such negative predisposition with, with ptsd from my childhood, and doing it alone… not realistic.
That’s always been one of my biggest health ptsd triggers, being alone at doctors or hospital facilities. It just instantly takes me back to being sick as a kid. I don’t know any of those people, I don’t trust the words they say, how do I know they are trying to help?
Pain is a responsibility. I forgot that for a while. Everyone wants to know what’s going on, how you’re doing, but, to just put it all out there isn’t healthy for anyone. There’s a science to it, all in balance.