Payton

avid green kia soul hater

[Payton @Omgpay]

and on the seventh day, God said shake ass

[Payton @Omgpay]

my husband is fond of saying “i have tickleitis” instead of “stop tickling me”

[Amy Reams? @Aforaromantic]

New challenge: eat all twelve Cinnabon bites from Taco Bell and if you never throw up again, at the time of your death Taco John himself will grant you an additional twenty years.

[Payton @Omgpay]

watching sesame street from the 70s and there’s a clip of kids playing in the snow and now i’m crying

[Dansani @D_Wads]

The most underrated part of being a parent is making up a new language with your spouse and child

[🝫 ✹ ᴰʳᵉᵃᵐ ᴶᵒᵘʳⁿᵃˡⁱˢᵗ @mike_boreas]

It's here.

[Dansani @D_Wads]

Big truck spotted

[Gabe Solberg @gabeslberg]

My dad put The Pianist on at 9:30 am

[Payton @Omgpay]

husband and i have a three hour drive which means it’s time for us to solve all of the world’s problems

[mysterious toast @RIOTTzac]

saying people w ADHD can't write an Instagram caption has to be more ableist than being against generative AI

[Payton @Omgpay]

wrong there’s a bed bath & beyond at the oak wood mall in eau claire wi

[Gavin Newsom @GavinNewsom]

The company that already went bankrupt and closed every store across the country two years ago? Ok.

[Payton @Omgpay]

my girlfriend and i saw you from across the bar and wanted to tell you that you have the most little bug aura we’ve ever seen. yeah, seriously, major little bug vibes - yeah it’s compliment

[Payton @Omgpay]

watching dune 2 rn and i read this as “lisan al gaib sounds like the name of a town in massachusetts” and i was like no it doesn’t