Mayor Chris

[The Touchline | 𝐓 @TouchlineX]

📸 - Michael Olise is chilling on the bench.

He will remain warm until Zidane tells him that they need him to save his country again.

[Mayor Chris @Omwenaa]

@BrianOngere The man who disrespected civil servants the most.

[Charles @CharlieFlani]

best Kenyan puns of 2024: a thread

[Mayor Chris @Omwenaa]

@AokoOtieno_ Maverick yawa 😂😂

[Dear God @TheRich_Gospel]

Son,

She got a new boyfriend.

You got a new life.

Move on,

Never go back to anything that God has ALREADY saved you from.

[Ja Leto @_falsi1ke]

Tips for men:

1. Show no emotions
2. Stay quiet after disrespect
3. Walk slowly and confidently
4. Stay calm in serious situations
5. Walk like you don’t care who the king is

What did I miss?

[Mohammed Hersi : Mr Optimist OGW @mohammedhersi]

Dear Mr. Ndegwa & Safaricom team,

I hope my message finds you well. I don't know where you were when Mpesa started, but a quick memory flashback will suffice.

When MJ became the first CEO of Safaricom and mooted the idea of Mpesa , banks, the top banks were furious. They lobbied and finally had a date with the acting finance minister, then Hon. Francis Michuki, alongside the governor of CBK Njuguna Ndungu. @CBKKenya

Banks made it clear that a communication company venturing into the world of money without being a bank is a big no-no. While banks approached CBK 17 years ago, Safaricom is today approaching CCK the regulator trying to stop a fellow communication company.

The wise men Michuki and Ndungu paid close attention and disregarded the banks' appeal, allowing Mpesa to continue operating. If banks receive the news that Mpesa will disappear today, they will be the first to voice their objections.

I saw a letter asking CCK not to license Starlink but to insist they partner with local players. Why does Starlink need a local player to set up shop apart from the unnecessary broker role, which is not required at all?

It saddens me greatly that today a firm that benefited from the free market is busy seeking favors that don't exist in law. The Internet is a necessity and no longer a luxury. As a hotelier, we have camps and lodges that struggle with connectivity, and even what we get is hit-and-miss while the cost is insane.

In Kenya, there are numerous small towns and schools that lack connectivity. This means that learners and residents of these smaller towns often miss out on the benefits of full connectivity at decent speeds, simply due to their perceived lack of financial resources.

Safaricom has no business trying to place obstacles in Starlink's path. Today, Safaricom finds itself in a similar situation to banks, which are attempting to block Mpesa services. Well, what is good for the goose is good for the gander, so please allow Starlink to be.

Starlink doesn't require you, Safaricom, or any other player to act as a go-between. This is precisely why Starlink relies on satellite technology, eliminating the need for intermediaries who would only increase the cost.

Bw Ndegwa Please wear your creative hat with your team and come up with a counter as opposed to seeking to place hurdles in the path of Starlink.

When MJ was asked about Mpesa he said he is not targeting the bank's clientele; he was simply targeting what the banks then described as the unbankable. Those are the clients who could not maintain a minimum bank balance of Ksh30,000. Today, Starlink is also serving the unserved and undeserved in the digital world of connectivity. Well they will also then target Safaricom clients like yours truly here in fact I am using my homefibre to share this message.

Instead of trying to stop a river, how about building a dam for a rainy day? Reach out to Starlink to be their partners in Kenya and use your wide network across Kenya to service them. Banks did not insist that Mpesa service go through them but by default that finally happened purely dictated by market demand and not through goverment control or dictates.

Please learn to grow the cake to achieve a larger pie, and avoid becoming overly comfortable with a bigger slice of a smaller cake. When you get too comfortable, you get obese don't let Safaricom get too comfortable.

Please let Starlink be

As always, I choose to remain an optimist.

Why Safaricom wants billionaire Musk’s Starlink out of Kenya https://t.co/wIV1kC5X8T

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Umetulia kwa sofa unawatch maandamano, Out of nowhere unaskia Liam ameshout "Baba mtu ametuma nyonyo" Inabidi umeruka kukafunga mdomo. Ukichungulia jikoni unaona Mama Liam umeweka earphones kwa maskio anaskiza Nyasembo akipika chapo. Inabidi umepiga magoti na kuinua mikono...

[Mayor Chris @Omwenaa]

@iamwangoma https://t.co/q9nx8Tl9e7

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

YouTuber Bankii loves Star Citizen and built a $30,000 game room based on his favorite ship, the Crusader Hercules

[read more: https://t.co/ajEOdp1IHX]
https://t.co/MMisO9QxaW

[Dr Branice Munyasa @Branicemercy]

The president trying to appoint non-kales 😅 to state jobs

[Dr. Miguna Miguna @MigunaMiguna]

BREAKING

Conman @RailaOdinga has made the following demands before he calls off Maandamano:

a) He wants President @WilliamsRuto to help him become Chairman of the African Union Commission.

b) Appointment of 7 cabinet secretaries.

[Every Movie Plug @everymovieplug]

Sunday afternoons are for military or war movies 🪖

[Gabriel Oguda @gabrieloguda]

BIBILIA ILIWEKWA CHINI, NCHI IKAPOTEA.

[AI @moseskuriahon]

In the Spirit of improving financial acumen:

Kamau bought a cow for 80K
He then sold it for 125K

Next market day, he bought it back for 140K
And then sold it for 155K

How much profit did he make?

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

The Twitter Files on free speech suppression soon to be published on Twitter itself. The public deserves to know what really happened …

[Mayor Chris @Omwenaa]

@mautiw1 @ShankiAustine Dm interested

[Leo | Phalanx Labs @SpartanPsyche]

When I was 21, I was living in Dubai working closely with my uncle / mentor.

Tough man, made millions in the oil industry selling gigantic high pressure valves and pipelines to oil refineries.

I was young, brash, cocky and thought I was the shit

He taught me humility 🧵