OneLinerJokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

The things that come to those who wait are actually the things that were left by those who got there first! #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

I'm right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%? #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

Why do bachelors like smart women? Opposites attract. #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children. #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.' #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

A girl phoned me the other day and said, “Come on over, nobody’s home. “I went over. Nobody was home. #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

Judge: Why did you steal the car? Prisoner: I saw it parked outside the cemetery & thought, the owner wouldn't need it nemore #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

Ques: What does Dumbo do after taking a photocopy? Answer: He compares it with the original document for spelling mistakes! #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

Boss: Do u belev in life aftr death? Employee: Yes, sir! B: Yesterday, after u left early 2 go 2 ur friend's funeral, he stopped by to see u

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

Doctor: Will the father be present during the delivery?
Mother-to-be: Nah, he and my husband don't get along! #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

B.Spears & Justin were walking along d beach. Justin says, "Aww, Britney, look at d dead birdie." Britney looks up at the sky and says, "Whe

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either. #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference. #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

Chocolate: the OTHER major food group. #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. #onelinerjokes

[OneLinerJokes @OneLinerJokes]

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. #onelinerjokes