✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪

Serve God, not systems. Animal-based lifter. Meat over meds.

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate?
I’m glad you asked. Buckle up.

12:05 p.m. — It begins. You down the 10-ounce bottle like it’s a lukewarm PBR at a college tailgate. The label says “cherry flavored,” but it tastes like someone described cherry to a chemist who’s never eaten fruit. Regret sets in instantly.

12:06 p.m. — You grab a handful of chips for moral support. They’ll be liquified before they clear your throat, but who cares? Life still feels okay right now. Remember this peace. You’re about to enter the darkest chapter of your gastrointestinal history.

12:37 p.m. — The rumbling starts. There’s movement in the depths. You’ve got five pounds of impacted regret in your colon, and you just drank the “human-safe” version of Drano. You think it’s go time. It’s not. You get one sad little snake turd — a warm-up act.
That’s the last semi-solid you’ll see for the next 24 hours.

12:57 p.m. — The situation escalates. Your stomach is in full revolt. You have 0.3 seconds to make it to the toilet. Running is risky business — one wrong step and you’ll paint the walls. You pray for sphincter strength like never before as you waddle at Mach 3, pants half down, whispering, “Please, God, not like this.”

12:58 p.m. — Impact.
You sit, and the gates of hell open.
The explosion is biblical. It hits the back of the bowl with such violent force it ricochets like a sprinkler system.
You ask yourself, Is that blood?
No — false alarm. Just the ghost of a cherry pie you ate in 2004. The smell is unspeakable. The acoustics? Terrifying. The neighbors think you’re performing an exorcism.

1:06 p.m. – 8:30 p.m. — Time becomes meaningless. You’ve evacuated everything you’ve ever eaten, plus a few ancestral meals for good measure. Your colon feels like it’s been sandblasted with lava. The burn is real. You’re sweating. Crying. Contemplating life. You meet Jesus briefly, but He sends you back — says your mission’s not over yet.

8:37 p.m. — You’re empty. Broken. Reborn.
Your butthole? A war veteran.
Your spirit? In recovery.
You’ll never be the same, but you will survive.

Tomorrow, you’ll rise from the ashes, slip into your last clean pair of underwear, and waddle into Walmart like a survivor of gastrointestinal warfare — to buy a new toilet brush and reclaim your dignity.

You’ve earned it.

Feeling thankful. 💩🙏

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

@RealAlHammer @MrMBB333 Laugh it up 🤷🏻

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

@drew4worldruler Jesus is returning soon 🤷🏻

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

@willsworldview You can’t prove he doesn’t 🤷🏻

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

@MyronGainesX Who? Yeah nobody cares…

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

@NAccount62870 @JPuncut LOL 😂

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

Scripture calls them ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’… James, Joseph, Simon, Judas, and unnamed sisters (Matt 13:55-56, Mark 6:3).

Greek adelphoi in that context means blood siblings, not cousins. Matthew 1:25 says Joseph ‘knew her not until’ she gave birth to Jesus. ‘Until’ implies they had a normal marriage afterward. Luke 2:7 calls Jesus the ‘firstborn’… not the only-born.

No need to twist plain text into perpetual virginity dogma invented centuries later. The Bible is enough.

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

🎯 Jesus didn’t rebuke Mary… He corrected the crowd’s focus on biology over obedience. Mary was blessed because she heard the Word and kept it (Luke 1:38). Protestants honor that. We just refuse to turn her into a co-redeemer or pray to her. That’s not in Scripture. “Blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it.”

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

Bro… you just said ‘I believe John The Baptist is Jesus’ Brother!’ in your original post.

Now you’re admitting he’s a cousin because the Bible calls Elizabeth Mary’s “relative” (syngenis)?

Pick a lane dude 😂
Syngenis = kinswoman/relative. That’s exactly why every Christian tradition (Catholic, Orthodox, Protestant) has always said they’re cousins… not brothers.

The text never once calls John Jesus’ brother.
Your whole challenge just collapsed in one reply.

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

@ronnoconiv @CalltoActivism Highly doubtful. He may be operating under the spirit of the antichrist but he isn’t the antichrist. 🤷🏻 not imo at least

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

@StefanBurnsGeo No clue what I’m looking at 🤷🏻

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

@Old_SchoolEddie I’m hoping for it 🤷🏻 I’m ready for Jesus to come back

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

The male prostate isn’t the “prime erogenous zone”… the penis is, and it’s designed for vaginal intercourse with a woman for reproduction. Anal stimulation isn’t “how God designed it”; it’s a misuse of anatomy that carries higher risks of injury, infection, and disease. That’s biology, not bigotry.
God didn’t “design humans this way” for sin any more than He designed us for adultery, greed, or idolatry. Temptation and the Fall explain disordered desires (Romans 1:26-27). Scripture doesn’t celebrate them… it calls us to repent and be transformed.
As for the “rewritten in the 40s” claim: that’s a myth. The Hebrew and Greek texts have always condemned same-sex acts (Leviticus 18:22, 20:13; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11; Romans 1). The word “homosexual” in modern translations accurately renders arsenokoitai (literally “men who bed men”). No conspiracy… just faithful scholarship. The Bible hasn’t changed; the culture has.

Pride Month still celebrates what God calls sin. Repentance and the Gospel offer freedom, not affirmation.

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

@SilentlySirs She was a model you moron… nothing about this post confirms anything other than disrespectful speculation.

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

Judgment begins in the house of God.
Before pointing fingers outward, clean the inner sanctuary.
Pride, hidden sin, compromise… root it out.

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

@AlyashchenkoX Absolutely insane! 🤦🏻‍♂️

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

This isn’t a pastor. This is a demon in a collar mocking the living God in His own house.

That’s not ministry either… it’s blasphemy.

‘Woe to those who call evil good and good evil.’ (Isaiah 5:20)

The Methodist Church has been rotting from the inside for years. Time to call it what it is… a false church teaching a false gospel.

[I Meme Therefore I Am 🇺🇸 @ImMeme0]

This is a pastor from a Methodist church in Arizona.

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

@elonmusk

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

@danakabradpitt @RichOToole I vote elk