Waldo Rodas

I'm trying, kinda.

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

In Japan it's very common to find sleeping pods you can rent for a little as ten cents an hour. They're a dime a dozin'

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

Think about how much birthday cake immortal people must eat it's probably a lot

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

If weed makes you argumentative, that's grass fed beef

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

Telling someone they're "getting too big for their britches" is a great way to cut 'em down because not only are you being conceited, but also you're too fat to be wearing all that.

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

@CallofDuty Here we go! Waldo#7092444

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

@elonmusk Apartheid Clyde lmao remember that time

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

@TadEdge @ResoluteSquare so you're calling Trump a liar?

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

@harryjsisson @DonaldJTrumpJr Never to his island! Just to get pizza in the basement of a pizza place.

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

@NotoriousNines @Dexerto Bin Laden was a comedian?

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

A Latino triclops? Eye eye eye!

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

If it's on the cob it's running away to get married but if it's in a cup it's elope en vaso.

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

Was the Chinese balloon just a publicity stunt for U2's new album Achtung Baby? Because that's even worse #SuperBowl

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

Dang I gotta buy me one of those new Jesuses

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

IDK how freezes work so I got hurricane drunk out of habit

[KS, ESQ. @KSESQ]

Netherlands:

1. Has never beaten Alabama.
2. Has never won the SEC.
3. 0 National Championships.
4. 0 All-Americans.
5. 0 Heisman Trophies.

#USAvNED

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

"On God," the rapper said, before their first match at hip hop fencing school.

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

Physical Therapy is kicking my ass they have me standing on big red balance balls and walking on tightropes and washing the elephants I would NOT recommend PT Barnum

[Kirstie Hayden @kirstiecomedy]

My bank account and the scale are the same. The number always makes me sad so i dont look at it and i just keep buying food

[Jaketropolis @jaketropolis]

a second try guy has just hit the south tower

[Waldo Rodas @OneTrueWaldo]

@a__vanita You could go up to a man after riding the hump of a mangy Buffalo naked on a hot summer day and he would eat it y'all this is excessive