OntarioStrong

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

"toasty buns hurt my mouth!"
- jessica

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

Joel to the Domino’s driver next door: Bye Domino’s. Woah! Slow down Domino’s! Don’t make me call neighbourhood watch. I’m a dad now, I can do that.

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

The answer is ~8,000 bees if anyone’s wondering - Mike

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

Michael “2 pounds of bees!”
Corey “so...at least 2 bees”
Michael “😡 hundreds!! I have no idea how many bees are in a pound!!”

#lifeofahistorian #itsgot2beesonit

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

Joel: “imagine ordering a live fish for curbside pick-up”. #pandemic #seemsfishy

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

Why are male geese not called goosters? #COVIDthoughts

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

I hate water! It’s just ...hot snow #adulting #thingsmichaelsays

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

“I need the foot powder to combat the hand juice” Broken handed Michael

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

Jessica, while making a baby registry: "Wha-- 5-in1 baby holder? You can fit FIVE BABIES IN THIS THING??"

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

Jessica: “That’s why I’d want to go to the Galapagos.” Joel: “That’s a turt!” #Jeopardy

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

Listen, I had a Finn crisp and then I had a Finn again.

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

I’m not going to eat your flavour bits!-Jessica to Joel when opening up dips...and the margarine...and the cream cheese #onetoomanytimes

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

Michael “oh I do have to keep cross dressing” #QuarantineThoughts #LegendofZelda #boysareweird

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

Hi, I’m JK Simmons and if you use Farmer’s Insurance your dick will be bigger.-Joel watching American ads #commercials

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

"Currently experiencing life at several poops per hour" - Jessica 💩

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

Joel said phenis. #fawkes

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

Michael “I don’t know what the definition of a bang is!! Isn’t it just your front hair?!”

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

“Spain is the Florida of Europe” -Andrew

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

Joel: “Don’t pee violently up!”
Jessica: Girls can’t do that...”
Joel: “I bet you could if you did a handstand and pushed really hard.”
#soupdelivery #thesick #morepoopthanglitter

[OntarioStrong @OntarioStrong]

People look at me and say “Joel, how do you do it? How are you such a tidy, clean boi?!” And I say golly, it just comes naturally. #kitchencleanup #cleanupsong