James

heyo

[1️⃣ @LeekNabers]

just met a cute girl at this wedding i’m at

like actually cute. objectively dangerous face card.

we’re talking. vibes are immaculate. she’s laughing at my jokes. i’m in my bag.

then sports get brought up, she says it

“i watch football”

my ears PERKED up

i played it cool. i said “oh nice, what’s your team”

she said “i’m a giants fan”

and that’s where a normal person would’ve said “cool, me too” and gotten her number

but i am not a normal person

my brain instantly went into terminal mode and i said “what do you think of the team?”

she looked confused

i kept going

“Darius Slayton as our WR2? Are you kidding me. Matt Nagy as our OC? Did you see what he did to Patrick Mahomes? Our franchise qb and franchise edge rusher hate each other. And we traded away our superstar DT”

she laughed nervously and said “what”

and i said “And don’t even get me started on Cam Skattebo basically trying to get himself injured”

she said “what”

and i said “so do you even follow the team”

she said “I literally have a Darius Slayton Jersey”

the vibe was GONE

just vanished. Just like Daniel Jones in primetime.

her friend pulled her away. she didn’t look back.

i was standing there alone at a wedding holding a drink i wasn’t even sipping, doing MENTAL MATH on how someone could claim to be a giants fan and think this Darius Slayton deserved that contract.

my cousin walked over and said “bro she looked into you what happened”

i said “she’s a casual”

he said “so?”

SO???

i then realized i would rather cut off my entire family than to share a bloodline with someone of the same species that couldn’t comprehend this

she had a pretty face but a DISGUSTING perspective on life that i just couldn’t get behind

could’ve had her number

she could’ve been the mother of my children

COULD’VE.

but now at least she knows i know ball

and honestly that’s worth more

[Hana 🧡💙 @HanaHoops]

This is deadass the funniest video I’ve ever seen

[Mugi Goof 🥸 @MugiwaraDGoofy]

The funniest thing about Kingdom Hearts is that at no point in the series does Sora have any idea what’s going on and that’s why I fuck with him because me either twin this some bullshit huh

[alek @trailtexxt]

Remedy level designers smoking blue meth

[arshia @arshia__]

it's such small brain energy to ask me which team i'm rooting for.......i'm rooting for the game of basketball. i'm rooting for beauty and drama and for wemby to elbow sga in the neck

[ava @waystarfilms]

Sometimes I keep thinking about Stalker

[Daniel Morris @MorrisAlmighty2]

Control Resonant's Release date that's what I want to see bro

[𝖗𝖊𝖉✞ @_redfeels]

do you ever see a photo of yourself and almost can’t believe how fucking ugly you actually are

[Phil Lindsey @PhilDL616]

I bomb atomically. Socrates' philosophies and hypotheses can't define how I be dropping these mockeries

[habib kun @habibkun9]

a masterpiece of the century
sonny boy

[iloveyourmummyjsyk @g4na_xo]

I'm the type to restart a song cus I got distracted and wasn't appreciating it enough

[ashtray 🚬🏳️‍⚧️ @THREADMUTER]

this is what decades of movement tech shooters trained the youth for

[cece ୨୧ @celestiaewhore]

at first i might seem boring but once you get to know me i am even more boring

[Calenta @NBAPaint1]

Aye man fuck it put Bronny on Shai

[lalo @haywanklb]

you’ll be at the lowest point of ya life and someone gon say “go to the gym” brother fuck you and the gym

[Pookie @PookiesParadise]

Tell her Bron still doin it lol

[GoldenKnight @GoldenKnightGFX]

LEBRON JAMES LITERALLY CREATED A TEAMMATE TO THROW AN OOP TO IN THE PLAYOFFS MAN STOP ALL THE DEBATES

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

Wake me up when it affects the world’s average condom maker

[Joe Applebrook #saveyokaiwatch @joe_applebrook]

This is how it feels to be invested in a romcom anime

[𝚣𝚎𝚎𝚣 @wtfzeezco]

when you clean your room so good that the only trash left is you: