Apurv Verma

Don't Panic.

[Aryan @Pokeamole_]

Cant keep defending Ananya Panday at this point…tf was that

[Apurv Verma @OpenLaces]

What's wrong with you @firstpost ! Hope @NetflixIndia ends up suing you

[‏ً @BALUCIAGA]

you didn’t just make me cum—you made me arrive—and honestly? that’s growth. 🌱

[glucosebiscuit 🥀 @glucosebiscuit]

First Look at Amir Khan as Smoke Jr. and Stack Jr. in ‘SINNERS: LEGACY”

Ryan Coogler will not return. Rohit Shetty (‘SINGHAM’, ‘CHENNAI EXPRESS’, ‘GOLMAAL 3’) is set to direct.

(Source: https://t.co/aVgUudlIfg…)

[Raja Babu @GaurangBhardwa1]

Shant hoja Gogi puttar
#INDvNZ #T20WorldCup2026final

[Apurv Verma @OpenLaces]

@cricbuzz @DineshKarthik @rohangava9 @gauravkapur Please ask your team to stop running this ad, you are burning money with useless impressions

[Siddharth @sidsimharaju]

A traditional BLR breakfast spot with a modern touch.

Solid dosas. Sweet potato dosa is a must.

They are also dairy-free. Surprisingly good filter coffee, and a banger Mysore pak.

📍 Ondu Plate, Indiranagar

[Shane 🦧 @TheMonkeyJungle]

I wish Avatar: Fire and Ash was twice as long

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

The company hired me to lead their "Agile Transformation."
I don't know what Agile means.
Nobody does.
That's why it works.

I make $425,000 a year.
To move sticky notes.
From left to right.
On a board.
The board is digital now.
The sticky notes cost $80,000 in Jira licenses.
Progress.

Day one, I said "we need to break down silos."
Everyone nodded.
Silos are bad.
I don't know why.
But destroying them is a career.
My career.

I introduced "squads."
Squads are teams.
But disrupted.
We disrupted the teams into teams.
Different names.
Same people.
Same problems.
But Agile problems now.
Agile problems are strategic.

A senior engineer asked what we're actually changing.
I said, "The mindset."
He asked what that means.
I said, "It's a journey."
He asked where we're going.
I said, "Toward agility."
He asked what agility means.
I pointed at the sticky notes.
They were moving left to right.
That's velocity.
We have velocity now.

The VP of Engineering said two-week sprints don't fit their work.
I said, "That's waterfall thinking."
Waterfall is bad.
Like silos.
I don't know what waterfall is.
But I know it's bad.
She stopped talking.
Waterfall accusations end conversations.

We had a retrospective.
In the retro, we discussed what went wrong.
Everything went wrong.
We put it on sticky notes.
Then we moved the sticky notes.
Into a column called "Parking Lot."
The Parking Lot is where problems go to die.
It's full.
We don't look at it.
That's agile.

Velocity is up 40%.
I defined velocity.
I also defined the points.
I also defined the stories.
We're crushing it.
At the things I made up.
To measure.
Ourselves.

The CEO asked for ROI.
I showed a chart.
The chart went up.
Charts should go up.
This one did.
I didn't label the Y-axis.
Nobody asked.
Leadership is confidence.

We do standups now.
Every day.
We stand.
For 45 minutes.
Standing is agile.
Sitting is waterfall.
My legs hurt.
But we're transforming.

The transformation is now "Phase 3."
Phase 1 was assessment.
Phase 2 was implementation.
Phase 3 is "continuous improvement."
Continuous means forever.
Forever means job security.
I'm very secure.

My contract was extended.
Three more years.
For "cultural impact."
The culture is confused.
But impacted.

Agile transformation isn't about being agile.
It's about transforming.
Continuously.
Toward more transformation.
The destination is the journey.
The journey is billable.

[OSCAR @now_thats_oscar]

movie so awesome a character literally says "well, this is awkward," and it's actually funny and not cringe. Cameron is a god amongst men

[bud wiser @w0rdgenerator]

Interacting with this for the last time to say that I donated most of my payout to Swabhimaan Trust in Chennai, a trust for adolescents and young adults with autism. I’ve worked with them for my graduation project and they’re doing great work to make different therapies accessible to neurodivergent people

[Apurv Verma @OpenLaces]

@AmazonHelp Kar liya note

[Apurv Verma @OpenLaces]

Not that it matters to anyone, but thanks to the ads have completely stopped watching prime video

Even if I want to watch a title on prime, i convince myself that it isn't worth it

[Apurv Verma @OpenLaces]

@AmazonHelp Paise nahi hai itne

[Douglas A. Boneparth @dougboneparth]

I’ve achieved at 40 what most people achieve at 75…

1. Back pain
2. Memory loss
3. Emotional pain
4. Hair loss
5. Financial pain

[Apurv Verma @OpenLaces]

Guys income tax return aaya kya kisika?

[bud wiser @w0rdgenerator]

Makeup ate today

[Apurv Verma @OpenLaces]

@Shailendra_P91 What do you when there can't be an action? Say, you are waiting for a crucial test result

[Apurv Verma @OpenLaces]

Lagaan

[Movies4u Official @Movies4u_Officl]

NAME A MOVIE?

[Apurv Verma @OpenLaces]

@probablytrippy @Baba_Thoka Yikes

[𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽 𝗅𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝖿𝖺𝗋𝗊𝗎𝖺𝖺𝖽💂🏾‍♂️ @hoodfarquaad]

“those who shy away from addressing the elephant in the room are doomed to carry the weight of it.”