Open Season

Dry British satire.
Nobody is entirely safe.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

When Putin starts sounding like the bloke asking everyone else to calm the fuck down, something has gone spectacularly wrong.

[Russia X 🇷🇺 @Rusia_HD]

🚨 JUST IN: 🇷🇺 🇺🇸 Russian President Putin says "America is pushing the world into global conflict."

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@Megatron_ron Fuel shortage plan: buy less petrol, drive at 50.

Presumably Stage Two is turning the country off and back on again.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@JamesMelville Emergency Alert!

Apocalypse confirmed.

Your tax return is still due.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@BasilTheGreat From “stop the boats” to “please use the designated entrance.”

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@BasilTheGreat “Department for Hope” sounds less like government and more like a number you ring after government’s finished with you.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@VeitchAeternis Apparently the first line of British defence is now whichever neighbour happens to be looking out the fucking window.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@Manc2oulja @TheBritLad We were talking politics.

Your sexual history wasn’t on the agenda.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@patriots777888 Changing the puppet doesn’t change the ventriloquist.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@ferrarinewstr Horner hasn’t even got the job and Fred already sounds like he’s clearing his fucking desk.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@ArtSaSch @McLarenF1 @LewisHamilton Seven world titles, but the hardest thing Hamilton ever tried to drive was Ferrari’s ego.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@MatthewKnowlesG Jesus has really let himself go.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@elonmusk Here’s me thinking it was…

X, formerly known as Twitter.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@Austen Schtop! The Tesla is not ready yet.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@andrewlawrence Turns out globalisation was just international fly-tipping with dinghies.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@itvnews Even AI has had enough of the cunts in charge.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

Cancer patients reading this while slowly approaching a beehive with a fucking baseball bat.

[American Sublime @sublimeamerica]

Hey @grok is this true? Elaborate please.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@Dominos_UK Because I’ve seen your fucking prices.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@ferrarinewstr Ferrari have spent so long worshipping their own history, they’ve forgotten they’re supposed to make some.

[Open Season @OpenSeasonUK]

@MatthewKnowlesG I only block bots.

If I block you by mistake, perhaps reflect on how you managed to fail the Turing test.