It’s Thursday 2:45 pm and I just found puréed carrot/apple on my forehead. My son hasn’t had carrot/apple purée since Tuesday. So that’s where I’m at these days...
My 6mo old just locked eyes with me while he pooped into a diaper I had literally just changed. In case anyone still wondered who the dominant male in my household was...
Some days I feel like a one-man Infant Montesorri School for my son.
And some days I just have to tell myself at least I’m not the mom from Gone Baby Gone.
#parenting#Parentfail#comedy#twitterdad
Like my wife mentions, just once in passing, some new thing she thinks might be good for our son. And I’m on Amazon buying it before she’s done talking. But when it comes to breast milk I’m like a background actor in Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.
“My dearest Jennifer left home before sunup today, and won’t return until well past sundown. I pray she has left enough sustenance for our young son, Caleb. Else I fear I may be forced to pull from our frozen stock. “
I told my wife I was afraid of losing my spot on her apocalypse team. W/o hesitation she said, “you’re still substantially stronger than most people, and I know I can spend a lot of time with you. We’re teammates for life!”
In case you were wondering what true love looks like.
“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. People will forget everything about you. People are forgetful.”
- me, forgetting every fact I knew before becoming a parent.
“Only weak people need therapy.”
From the generation that gave us such gems as -
“A case of the Mondays”
and
“Life’s a bitch and then you die.”
#therapy#SundayMotivation
Last night I unswaddled a sleeping baby just enough to stick a finger up the back of his diaper to check if he needed changing. In case you’re wondering where I’m at these days.
#sleep#baby#diaper