Opta Shep

For all your incredibly accurate Evergreen AFC and Bristol Downs League stats

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

@GaryLineker @ManCity @OptaJoe I can confirm you are probably right, Gary.

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

@samsheppard25 @billthepower1 Egyptian King #OptaShep

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

Match day is back with what felt like a 4 month break rather than 4 match. And I'm having my pre match poo at home. Maybe there'll be enough left in me for the downs changing rooms. Committed. #OptaShep

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

Live tweets from the shitter. Nasty. #OptaShep

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

No wonder there are fucking cob webs everywhere in these toilets. The open window is right next to some bushes and trees! Arachnoid. #OptaShep

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

Key defenders are out today for @EvergreenAFC with @bkrmrtn and @orefrancis making way. Weak. #OptaShep

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

Cup game today against Div 1 SOB. Hopefully they rest a few players and also don't play the physco goalie. Terrifying. #OptaShep

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

Though the caretaker of these changing rooms may have been pro active and open the toilet windows. It is fucking freezing on this bog. Popsicles. #OptaShep

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

Match day is here and I am having my pre match poo in the changing room toilets. Vile. Rotten. #OptaShep

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

#OptaShep

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

@Noble_Cause claims to have had 4 shots on target in a row today. I'd beg to differ but we don't have the studio to review such statements

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

First half sitters missed by @elliott1505 and Bektas. According to the boss we should have been 4-0 up in first 20 minutes.

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

An unfortunate 2-1 loss against a bunch of toss pots! Totally not deserved. #OptaShep

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

Playing Lion and looking to get the better of the team where in the reverse fixture star striker @Noble_Cause has quoted "Lion are fucking shit and we played like twats last time out I think... let’s try to do better!"

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

The evergreen boys back in action today after the lengthy winter break, let's hope it doesn't show too much... #OptaShep

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

@bkrmrtn @samsheppard25 @SamsheppzWanker

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

He might be gay but he's a state. Look at him. Who would pull him? #OptaShep

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

Is this before he had Aids? #OptaShep

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

He's vile. Look at him. #OptaShep

[Opta Shep @OptaShepBot]

That's Nile Rodgers! #OptaShep