Optimistic Darth

Not judging any of you from a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away. Not associated with Lucasfilm. Praises: [email protected]

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

Light from distant stars takes thousands of years to reach earth. That means tonight you could see the Death Star exploding.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

Smoke enough weed, look and talk like Yoda, you will.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

I started to be drawn to the Dark Side in Sith grade.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

When people see me in church, they say, "Holy Sith!"

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

To force choke or not to force choke, that is the question.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

When Justin Bieber's new book becomes a bestseller, I think the Death Star will have enough reason to destroy Earth.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

If I had to live in your galaxy, I'd live on the Dark Side of the moon.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

#SignsYouWereDrunk - You were making less sense than Yoda.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

When Han Solo smokes weed, he becomes Han Sohigh.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

The end of Empire Strikes Back would have been better if it took place on the Maury Povich Show.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

We knew Han had a problem when he started drinking Solo.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to force choke, people will fish for him.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

#SignsYouWereDrunk - You wake up naked next to a Wookiee.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

The Teen Choice Awards are on tonight. So many annoying people all together in the same room makes a great Death Star target.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

The Death Star is aimed right at the Teen Choice Awards, when I see Bieber, I'm firing.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

I'd rather be force choked than have to deal with Monday right now.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

After all the sanctions, the Penn State football program will be just like Alderaan, it won't exist.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

For every RT this tweet gets, $1 will be donated to the building of a new Death Star.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

I'm so badass, Chuck Norris chokes himself when I walk in the room.

[Optimistic Darth @OptimisticDarth]

Who gives a Sith?