Shit Orchestra Musicians Say

Sarcasm...or is it?

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

Can we give a rest to saying "Your XYZ Symphony Orchestra" ?

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

"Is it Covid Brain or Imposter Syndrome?"

Things musicians think of the first rehearsal of this new season.

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

Management be like, you haven't been playing this last year, so you're going to want to do this program!

(Program: all Williams and Tchaikovsky with the hardest and worst medleys and arrangements of every musical and movie; one rehearsal)

Orchestra be like: classes in coding +1

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

Dear Orchestra Executives, You'll never, ever, see a musician use incoming donations or endowment to hire a consultant to help us do our jobs better. That shit was determined when we won our jobs. Hire the best, see the results. When you hire staff, then train them, ya stupid af.

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

That moment when you realize your executive director has had more time in the spotlight and public than your orchestra---and they seem to be reveling in it. #PandemicShowtime

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

We're totally excited, we're starting our Reimagined Season in Mar, no, wait,....Apr, no. Jun, no. Jul, no. Aug.....Yes, August. We're so excited, we're starting our Reimagined Season in August. But maybe September.

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

More helpful than a letter from management saying things are TBD would be a letter from management saying, hey, don't bother practicing, we'll be in touch to give a two week heads up when needed.

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

TFW you're broke AF from not performing, see a job opening in the staff listings for your orchestra, strongly consider it for extra income, and realize Aldi pays more with better benefits and flexibility.

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

Exciting! We had 10 people live streaming our concert. Now, only to get 5-10K more and we'll break even.

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

Contract Reopener

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

Dear Santa, Please remove the words "pivot" and "nimble" from our executive director's vocabulary? Seriously, that's all we want for Christmas this year. And maybe our jobs back.

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

Cannot wait to return to normal so we can start complaining about playing too many Nutcracker shows.

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

Getting a Real Estate Licence turns out to be easier than winning the 34th audition.

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

Wait----nobody wants to watch more videos of us talking about how we make reeds?

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

Oprah's handing out new CBAs to ICSOM orchestras!!

YOU GET A PER-SERVICE ORCHESTRA!!
YOOU GET A PER-SERVICE ORCHESTRA!!!!
AND YOOOOOOOOU GET A PER-SERVICE ORCHESTRA!!!!!!

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

There is a special place in hell for executive directors who, during the pandemic, say "We didn't HAVE to pay our musicians, but we chose to."

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

Streaming to our loyal audiences who upgraded their tvs 20 years ago.

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

force majeure is what will save every lazy board & incompetent executive director.

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

This is a mic drop idea. Let's rename our season "Re-Imagined."

[Shit Orchestra Musicians Say @OrchestraSay]

Only Beethoven seems worthy of programming for reopening concerts. Yet it was the excess of Beethoven that seemed to be the overture to closing all of the concerts.