Stuff Ordinands Say

Overheard at theological college. Our DMs are open for submissions

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*coughs quietly*

we now exist over in the other, better weather, place, with the same name

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In a Spirituality and Discipleship Lecture:

"Is that a prayer cross in the pocket of your Lucy and Yaks?"

"Yeah, there's a cross stitched cross in there too"

"A cross stitched cross?"

"Can't have too many crosses"

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"Read some decent theology - try Ratzinger."
"I don't need Ratzinger; I've got Veggitales."

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"We are stardust."
"Or, put another way, nuclear waste."

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"My Lighthouse is this generation's Shine Jesus Shine."

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"What's it called when you copy someone else's work?"
"Palagianism."
"No that doesn't sound right..."

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"I used to name my teddies after organ stops! I had a small fluffy cow called Nazard"

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"I really don't get what God was doing with the dinosaurs - I mean, were we going to live with them? They went extinct."
"Mate you're having chicken twice this week."
"Oh, yeah."

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"It was a yes or no question, so I wrote a paragraph."

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"I assure you the Church has thought this one through."

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"The Church of England: All Proverbs, no Wisdom."

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"What cologne are you wearing?"
"Te Deum."
"... Do you mean Terre d'Hermés?"

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"So what do you and your boyfriend do for fun?"
"We re-litigate the Reformation."

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"You smell nice."
"Thanks, it's a combination of aftershave and incense."

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"Does that mean Jesus is the quest giver?"
"Jesus is the ultimate quest giver. As St John Henry Newman said, 'Everyone has a main quest, for which God could create no other character.'"

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🎵 "On Jordan's bank the Baptists cry; If I were a Baptist, so would I!"

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"We prayed for Archbishop Justin, Pope Francis, and the Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew."
"Ah, the three pillars of the Church on earth."

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"On a scale of 1 to agreeing to do a PhD, how drunk are you?"

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"Can I have a biscuit? I missed out as the arse end of a camel."

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"Where does one find a maniple and a Roman Missal at short notice?"