The problem is, I want to be with you when it’s most convenient for me, but that’s not how a relationship works. And I especially know you won’t settle for anything near that standard
Like now more than ever I want to be able to give that extra piece to someone that I didn’t give before. I now see the simple things I could have done that would have spoke volumes. I wish I could say I walked away after giving it my all, but I can’t.
How can I say I miss someone’s company and even miss most of them, but not feel inclined to go out of my way to appreciate them when we’re together. Like that is such a thin fence to be sitting on, and probably explains why I can feel so many different things in a short period
Sometimes I feel like I made a mistake when I look at how well things could actually be between us, but most of the time I think I made the right decision when I take into account why it wasn’t natural for me to put in more effort, or our different viewpoints on important topics
Wishing I could be around for this new chapter in your life and not just the part where you felt the way I am feeling now. I knew I would be giving that up when we broke up, but it’s still something I think about too often and wish it could be me sharing that with you.
I think it’s fucked up that the only person I actually want to reach out to when I’m feeling down is you, even though I am the person who could have prevented myself from feeling down in the first place. I created my own consequences, but now I just suck at handling them
Sometimes I think I enjoy missing you. I like to let my mind wander into different scenarios and play them out in my head. But I gotta knock it off because all I end up doing is fucking myself over