The pipeline of "oh i already know i want to be an artist of some sort when i grow up" ➡️ "oh god this field isn't sustainable i need a less creative job" ➡️ "oh my god im not passionate about literally anything how am i supposed to choose something fulfilling" is so real
probably one of the reasons why people engage in self sabotage is a desire to return to a state where you possess nothing and are nothing, and therefore nothing can be expected of you... like a return to childhood