overheardtheDM

A DM lives in my house and I have turned from poking fun at his hobby to drinking in the next room and delighting in the hilarious things that he says

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

I looked into his eye as I ran the lance into his urethra and out the top of his skull

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

It is teetering over the lava. It’s dripping its lifeblood out onto the lava.

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

It’s still spilling soul juice from it, there’s still some soul energy there but it’s 90% shattered

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

The parts of the baby smolder. The baby is unhappy about that.

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

@TheGodDamnDM Well I’m not that interesting but tonight we’ve got the end of a huge campaign so God knows what gems are a-waitin’! T-minus 1.5 hours

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

You hear the screams of the souls as they are being pumped into the umbilical cord

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

It’s old woman crap, knitting and shawls and chunks of children

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

They’re trying to get a hold of one of your skulls. You can see them pointing at you and egging each other on.

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

There doesn’t seem to be anything to blow up except your friends @DnDBeyond

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

You turn into blue smoke and you slide right down the lever. It’s doesn’t actually move. It looks bluer. But that’s about it.

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

When you go to the mouth pentagon and try to touch it, it disappears into it. When your hand goes in- your hand feels a glass lever

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

It’s more a phantom lever than a fake lever

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

Up close it looks just like it did far away except... it’s closer

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

They tend to the baby.

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

You ducked underneath a mastodon’s golden balls and shot the devil

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

You see your friends tossing around a weird skeleton skull.

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

None of this green ejaculate is here, just so you know. There’s no such thing as magical underwear. You go over here and pass some magical crap. It is a stairway that goes down to the sixth level of the tomb. Let me know what you want to do next.

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

You feel yourself psychically violated.

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

Something might have happen at the moment of impact but then it just sits in the goo.

[overheardtheDM @OverheardtheD]

No this is just slimiest slime. It’s only about a half inch thick but goes about 15 feet.