Insight Owl

wise owl, giving some bad life advice. DO NOT ATTEMPT ANYTHING FROM THIS ACCOUNT

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

https://t.co/pacQniXLHC

[Stumbler Top @StumblerTop]

when someone doesn't like me 💁💅

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

Who needs Christmas when there's...

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

Feel like your not getting the most out of your toothpaste? Try using cocaine.

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

Track meet?

Kill parents
Claim life insurance money
Use money to bribe officials

Repeat with team members for undefeated season.

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

Having trouble focusing in school?
Heroine!

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

Don't forget to wish your mom a happy Mother's Day today!

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

If you shoot your sister below the chest it's not attempted murder.

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

Bored off the same routine at work every day? Buy a flamethrower!

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

How to "chill":

1. Drink bleach

2. Kill your pet

3. Eat a whole stick of deodorant

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

Need an idea for a Christmas present? Mace works great to give young children.

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

If someone asks you who your favorite singer is, just tell them it's feat because they're in almost every song.

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

Need to impress a girl on the first date? Show her your rock collection.

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

If you wear crocs in public, you will always be allowed to go to the front of lines!

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

RT if you fought in the Civil War.

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

Always eat from a variety of the 3 basic food groups:
1. Fruits
2. Candy
3. Hand soaps

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

Having trouble picking up girls?
Chloroform!

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

You don't need oxygen, you just need swag.

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

Always like and comment on your own Facebook status.

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

Need to study for a history test? Record 24 hours of the history channel, then get in your bathtub with your DVR. The info will transfer!

[Insight Owl @OwlInsight]

Want a real obstacle course? Land mines!