Anna Turner 🇵🇸

Walking study in Demonology | I write about sad Victorians, strange museums, and the possibility of a man being in two places at the same time

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

Had the chance to write about how people tell fictional stories using historical devices/ styles. Really excited to finally share the results!
https://t.co/xi56ewk9HW

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

Using a thesaurus to get closer and closer to the word you know you're thinking of feels like chasing a man through the woods.

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

Boyfriend has invented a nemesis he calls "Hidden Gemma", an influencer who posts about all your favourite spots and makes them suddenly overrun with people. Can't get a walk-in on a random Tuesday anymore because they're fully booked? Hidden Gemma's been posting again!

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

Evelyn Waugh quotes that sound like Lana Del Rey song titles.

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

A story my mum told me that made me cry so hard I threw up a bit.

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

@molly_martian I should've known really

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

The concept of a decoy duck is twisted. Like, imagine you walked past a restaurant and were like "wow, it's packed in there! Must be really good! Let's give it a go," and then as you got settled and started looking over the menu you slowly realised none of the people were real?

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

Conversation with my father concerning a marina, a Spaniard and alleged youthful indiscretion.

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

The medieval church was just Uma Musume for pilgrims, change my mind.

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

I am the way I am because one time my aunt brought down an old ass album to show me black and white photos of my Italian ancestors and I was like "wow, neat - but why are their eyes closed in all the photos?"
And she was like: 🙂

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

Either spells are real or the infringement of Big Tech on our lives is, because I wrote precisely what I wanted into the universe/ my notes app and now this little rectangular scrying mirror keeps giving me it.

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

Oh no she's writing twee papist prose poems in her notes app

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

This morning I thought I might be catholic and then I realised I just really like fashion and the idea of all those guys in their red outfits deciding amongst themselves who gets to change into white is very moving and very sacred to me.

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

My condolences to the generations who lived before headphones and portable music, because nothing feels better than looking up and making eye contact with the moon on beat.

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

Shout out to the upstairs room at pubs, you're doing amazing work for the community.

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

Never do I feel more in touch with my ancestors than when I allow myself to sit down to peel potatoes.

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

Meanwhile I was watching a (very good!) matinee of Jean Genet's The Maids, wondering what that racket was outside threatening to drown out the final monologue. A bit too on brand honestly.

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

Dying at the wedding party trying to take photos in the square while carnage unfolds a few feet away

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

I don't know how we got here, but 90% of the messages I get from my dad are updates on the price of fish at Morrisons & I cherish each of them.

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

Update: my dad has decided to expand his supermarket seafood multiverse of madness beyond Morrisons.

WhatsApps from my dad are my favourite substack.

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

Boyfriend saw footage of a ruined amphitheatre and instinctively started whispering "Roman construction, man ... they put those stones together so hard it's easier just to leave them there."

[Anna Turner 🇵🇸 @OwlsEatMice]

Incredible scenes