Trauma healing has gotten stale, and Empty Spaces has damaged me in ways I'll never recover from. For all my efforts to educate and help, I have been ignored and hated. For all my efforts to be educated, I've been alone.
This is goodbye.
I hope you rot.
Getting suggested tweets about puppydoll's death and seeing the replies "I wish I could have known it better" feels so empty with how flighty everyone's interests and loyalties are...
No one owes me attention no one owes me to press the little like button. I've heard all the arguments and internalized them all. I'm a selfish, demanding sub who
This is what I've felt like, in Twitter, on my own founded discord server, in private conversations...
I can scream and cry and beg and beg and beg and it disappears it just disappears and vanishes and somehow time has passed even though no events to count have passed
Twitter is the worst of it maybe... 1,700 remaining followers, honestly no idea how many are real or active or whatever. No idea. Passivity.
Writing fiction, unraveling mental illness, think-tanking about society, thirst posting, even great pics of me riding dick kinda go nowhere
I'm terrified it'll keep happening
I'll never be real here
I'm terrified it'll stop
I don't know what all I need to be held account to
I don't know how many things I've done are deplorable if only I actually did them
I can SEE the words on the screen. I can FEEL how hoarse my throat is from crying. I can remember everything that never happened. I'm in a parallel world.
I think perhaps the biggest difference between my mother and I is that Iβm actually capable of giving aftercare to the girls who call me mommy when I make them cry.
It's a bit like the nasty side of Kant, or precedent. If you propose an idea, and it could be extrapolated how that idea goes bad, then you have suggested a harmful idea.
Even if the danger is physically impossible to realize!
Because the point has never been "is what is going on right now okay" that's too simple, instead it's fixation on "is what is going on ALWAYS okay" - since it could be dangerous with a man and woman, all situations have to be treated as such.
it's not like they *literally* just plug their ears when you mention entirely gay pairings. it's just that many of them dont seem to have much trouble asserting there's still a "man of the dynamic" present whether it's boys or tgirls or what. doesnt seem like mere oversight to me
I see this show up all the time with drug talk. Video of two girls doing lines? It gets flipped into "how would you feel if both girls overdosed and died on screen" because that danger COULD exist, it therefore ALWAYS exists.