hhGreg!

My best friends call me Meg. My friends call me Greg. My enemies call me....Greg as well.

[hhGreg! @Ozzyborn8]

I love being ironic. So if my son turns out to be one of those people allergic to the sun I’m changing his name to Ray

[hhGreg! @Ozzyborn8]

@AndrewOzborn In Russia, phone find you!

[hhGreg! @Ozzyborn8]

Being an adult is basically getting so excited about taking a nap that you can’t fall asleep

[hhGreg! @Ozzyborn8]

I’m going to write a book titled, “How To Read.”

[hhGreg! @Ozzyborn8]

Picture this:

You’re at a bar with your friends.

You turn to them and yell over the music, “Hey, there’s way too many people in here!”

The girl next to you turns and yells back, “That’s what she said!”

#TheOffice #LoveAtFirstSeeWithMyEars

[The Last Blockbuster @loneblockbuster]

Colleen is making us work a full day on Memorial Day yet she has no problem shutting down the store at 4pm on International Margarita Day.

[hhGreg! @Ozzyborn8]

@EltonDeJohneres #NoClubsForOil

[hhGreg! @Ozzyborn8]

People keep talking about “breaking the seal”, but to be honest I’m in support of animal rights

[hhGreg! @Ozzyborn8]

@EltonDeJohneres We out here

[The Last Blockbuster @loneblockbuster]

We had to stop doing Take Your Daughter To Work Day because Colleen has too many daughters.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Officials Urge Americans To Sort Plastics, Glass Into Separate Oceans https://t.co/kQnJrKKH1Q

[hhGreg! @Ozzyborn8]

(Day 126)

Still shivering. Still cold.
April has brought us nothing but lies and has made fools of us all.
Next season, we shall slay the groundhog on his holy Day for betraying us.
That is....if we make it to next season.

Greg

[hhGreg! @Ozzyborn8]

I don’t shop at Lowe’s very often but I always appreciate it’s super relaxed “Leave Your Cart Anywhere” policy.

[hhGreg! @Ozzyborn8]

Just tried to purchase a bag of air but there were Lay’s chips inside so pissed

[Niche Gamer @nichegamer]

Ultra Instinct Fortnite edition

[UMBC Athletics @UMBCAthletics]

PUT SOME RESPECK ON IT! WE HAVE DEFEATED NO.1 OVERALL SEED VIRGINIA 74-54

[Ryan Wood @ByRyanWood]

I picked Arizona for the Final 4.

My 3 children each picked Buffalo. Because they thought buffalos were cool.

I hate March.

[hhGreg! @Ozzyborn8]

Just ordered Applebee’s delivery it’s like we out here Life is short

[hhGreg! @Ozzyborn8]

For those of you just realizing they took Good Will Hunting off of Netflix...