PEI Pitchbot (Satire)

Satirical. Parody account. Not CBCPitchbot.

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

BREAKING - In the final hours of the campaign, Liberal leader drafts resignation announcement.
#peipoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

DEVELOPING - Internal memo reveals PC Party will retain campaign bus & driver after the election, as a perk for 'Cabinet Minister of the Month'.
#peipoli #peivotes2023

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

In-Depth - Are PC candidates connecting with BIPOC voters? We asked campaign strategist Don Cherry.
#peipoli #PEIVotes2023

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

AUDIO | In this clip from an unknown source, Peter Bevan-Baker admits that he sometimes takes double-sugar in his coffee. "Sometimes, you just need that extra jolt on the campaign trail."
#peipoli #PEIElection2023

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

In-Depth | We sat in on murder-board debate prep for the candidates. Example question: "Do you accept that public broadcasters work f-cking hard at their jobs, providing vital support for manufacturing consent in a neo-liberal democracy?"
#peipoli #PEIElection2023 #Election2023

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

DEVELOPING | Chief Public Health Officer declines invitation to stand by Premier's side during leaders' debate.
#peipoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

Op-Ed | The full slogan was:
“With you. Or without you.”
(We had to edit due to the huge font.)

By Down East Signs
#peipoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

In-Depth | Three Rivers resident concerned that the ancestral and unceded territory of the Mi’kmaq people is being wrested from settlers' control by foreign sources, without consent.
#peipoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

BREAKING | At the doorstep, NDP candidate urges Islanders to remember "our proud legacy as Prince Edward Island's natural third party".
#peipoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

Opinion | To the marginalized & downtrodden, fighting against transphobia, misogyny, systemic oppression: show up & fix it.
In 1986, my hockey team overcame a 5-0 deficit and you can too, if you put in the work.

By a white, cishet male, bathed in privilege since birth
#peipoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

DEVELOPING | Tory back-room celebrates St. Patrick's Day with rousing rendition of "Denny Boy", while raising beer steins and lighting cigars with printed copies of the Election Act.
#peipoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

BREAKING | One Island voter, already weighing several campaign promises, is now completely overwhelmed by choice of hashtags.
#peipoli #Election2023 #PEIVotes2023 #2023Election #cdnpoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

Developing | Green Party candidates uncomfortable with Elizabeth May's incessant 2 AM text-messages offering to "catch a flight and help out... please".
#peipoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

In-Depth | Liberal Party releases 'Hardcore Healthcare' pledge, incentivizing retired MLAs to retrain as medical professionals.
Will it resonate with voters? With MLAs? We sat down with campaign strategist Elon Musk.
#peipoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

Developing | PC Party clarifies that estimate of having 'completed 95% of 2019 commitments' includes an error margin of 35%.
#peipoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

Developing | Buoyed by successful partnership during Canada Games, PEI Gov't rumored to discuss location of supervised injection site with Crabbe Mountain, NB.
#peipoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

BREAKING | Having served the Canada Games, PEI school buses now transporting "several metric tonnes" of rhetorical bullshit to District 15.
#peipoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

Developing | Canada Games gold-medalist in gymnastics rumoured to assist PEI Gov't in logical contortions for election call. Degree of difficulty described as "blatant, cynical".
#peipoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

Breaking | City of Charlottetown redacts tourism slogan on website, citing opaque "disclosure obligations" and potential legal liability.
#peipoli

[PEI Pitchbot (Satire) @PEIPitchbot]

Developing | Premier King welcomes athletes to the Canada Games, reminds delegates that “it is an election year on PEI, and we should ‘expect the unexpected’ in sport and in life”.
#peipoli #canadagames