Pubis Hobknocker

Certified chimpanzee/small gorilla

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

Need watchtower access IMMEDIATELY. With binoculars n shit. I need to know what's going on.

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

Me when it's around quarter after 6 in the evening and I haven't had anything to eat since lunch probably

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

If you imagine someone pointing a laser in your eye or have a dream about someone pointing a laser in your eye you can go blind from that

[Minecraft Nigga @minecraftnigga]

Living in minecraft ain't no joke. Its real shit! #imgangster #nigga

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

A fool is the man who goes into a swamp to try and squish all the bugs,
For he will never be able to squish all those damn bugs.

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

Coca Cola should make a flavor using beef liver puree and call it "cow invasion" and the cans got a picture of a concerned man opening his mouth to reveal several miniature cows grazing on his tongue

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

Going Chinese Chicken Finger Mode. I stop at nothing.

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

The sign on the skytrain which displays the production number of the skytrain in question, which just so happens to be skytrain #420: "420"
Me, who smokes weed: "420?!?!" *starts jacking off*

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

I'm gonna go milkshake mode

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

I dont play business. I fuck money

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

Imagine playing smash bros but all the hit voice lines like "ow" or whatever are replaced with real human screams like you knock a player off the map and you just hear "AUUGH AUUUUUUGHH OOH PLEASE NO AUUUUGGGHHH"

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

What would a curse of bad luck be like for a hamster. "Sheeeeeit that is one unpleasant woodchip"

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

I think a really good way to get in touch with nature and go back to my roots is throwing rocks. Thinking about that

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

When people say England, are they talking about the language or the country

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

Mfs be tweeting like "why yes, I do enjoy a dosage of hard narcotics on a good Tuesday evening" when in reality they be putting tylenol in they water and calling it weed

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

Laundry mfs be like: this detergent should make my clothes smell good

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

Listening to a rap music song right now. This guy says words in just the right way

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

Get silly with it

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

Just as you can put salt under your door to keep out ghosts, you can shit under your door to keep out anyone who may ever want to talk to you

[Pubis Hobknocker @PHobknocker]

Sipping on that 2-3 day old water, gotta get those microbes