P. J. O'Rourke

Dragging the pond of politics to find the body of humor

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

No talent? Kind of dim-witted? No shame? Perfect. The celebrity industry needs you — just don’t ever veil your face http://t.co/WWsx2moVMy

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

STILL haven't done your taxes? I'll show you how -- 3 parts gin to 1 part Form 1040. In The Daily Beast today.

[John Avlon @JohnAvlon]

I do my own taxes with no help, except from a couple of Bloody Marys - a @PJORourke testimonial - http://t.co/hF9xPeBMG1 via @thedailybeast

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

Come with me through 117 pages of euphemisms, bureaucracy, and mayhem http://t.co/FA1q9JtVqi

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

@AnnabelGurwitch @LiveTalksLA Yes. You should seek professional help, but not at The Gap.

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

@AnnabelGurwitch @LiveTalksLA No. We can get WAY fatter in sweatpants.

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

Dave Barry & me deep thinking on Amazon. Fix probs. of deficit, climate change & Justin Bieber by plugging our books: http://t.co/XdRzb6V0AN

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

3" of snow in DC and government is shut down. Why didn't GOP just wait for 1st little bit of bad weather?

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

Been on airlines lots lately. OK except for constant crying of big baby. $1.29 for Pringles? Oh, come on. Infant in next seat noisy too.

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

On book tour. Please, hotel chains, make letters on little SHAMPOO bottles larger. Spending too much time with Body Lotion in my hair.

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

Suggest all libertarians follow Ed Crane. Knows how to lead Quixotic struggle -- still thinks Redskins have shot in playoffs.

[Ed Crane @EdwardHCrane]

Calling Dr Orwell: Obama may end #NSA phone data collection and instead require phone companies to do the same.

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

Twitter stock price down 13% on Fri. due to holiday Tweets being at least 13% dumber than regular everyday Tweets.

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

Am trying to promote new book. How did Jane Austen do this w/o social media? Will have ask her. Is she on LinkedIn?

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

Can't promise to be daily but can promise to be beastly -- am joining The Daily Beast Jan. 1 http://t.co/hWkTOZzrlc via @thedailybeast

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

N. Korea leadership purge worrying. What if some crazy fat kid with sociopath haircut winds up in charge?

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

Volcker Rule says banks can't risk own money. Says nothing about banks risking mine.

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

Must stop reading Sunday NYT or will Tweet myself to death.

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

JPMorgan hired children of Chinese elite. This sort of thing never happens with children of American elite.

[P. J. O'Rourke @PJORourke]

Israel wants to resettle Bedouins. Wait, they're nomads. They resettle themselves. As with so much of the news these days, don't get it.