in order to become a better person, you must first realize how horrible you really are. not in the dramatic sense, but in the quiet ways you sabotage yourself, repeat unhealthy patterns, hurt people who care about you, or tolerate what wounds you. you cannot grow if you keep pretending you’re innocent in the story you’ve created.
you can physically feel the pain in your heart
you go to sleep with it, you wake up and you have like 3 seconds before your brain remembers you’re heartbroken and you carry it again. everyday for like 6 months