vp

Morning Person™️ who mostly tweets about boys | she/her

[vp @PLAt_twist]

Bro my date last night was so bad my uber driver shouted “block him” while he heard me giving my friend a recap over the phone

[vp @PLAt_twist]

Every true crime documentary has an interview with a secondary friend who is loving the attention a little too much

[Melanie 🇨🇦 @Mellyfax]

If you’re outraged over Charlie Kirk’s shooting but can shrug off ICE shooting a woman in the face while she was trying to flee, you’re not principled, you’re in a cult. You’re a hypocrite. Watching that video shook me to my soul.

[ꕤ @glindaupland]

“Based on the attached clip, it is hard to believe he is alive, but is now recovering in the hospital”

Stop lying. No contact was made with the ICE officer - he was not ‘ran over’.

[Dan Marcus @Danimalish]

Save us, President Christopher Nolan. You’re our only hope.

[Tom Zohar @TomZohar]

Heartbreak feels mediocre in a place like this

[vp @PLAt_twist]

This movie hits so differently when you realize this guy is just like…. A Republican lol

[Tommy Stella @tommy_stella]

I feel like lately we’ve had all the weird cocaine vibes of the 70s but none of the whimsy but this very much feels like whimsical 70s vibe with only a lil bit of cocaine and I think that rocks.

[mikey @enbyslayer]

this is fmudhdjdbdjsjdb

[Michael Kandel @K_A_N_D_E_L]

Mr. Mamdani, I'm not sure what you said to him but can you say it again next week at my family's Thanksgiving

[angel 🐦‍🔥 @melanchorus]

what it feels like to say you are strongly against the use of generative AI in front of a group of people your age

[C 💒 @churchofysl]

every time someone asks me about my dislike and refusal to use AI, i send them this.

[Conor Rogers @conorjrogers]

We can officially raise the alert level from "Wow, Things Sure Seem Bad"

to

"Uh Oh! I Recognize This One From the Textbook"

[ally 🦋✨🎧⸆⸉ @ally_sheehan]

happy september 1st, the most productive night anybody has had in all of recorded human history

[jane @ijanedoll]

there’s only 3 types of people who are never wrong:

– Women
– Oldest daughters
– Firstborn granddaughters

[claire @rosiekennedyxx]

dating in nyc is diabolical

[max currie🍉 @maxccurrie]

i’ll say it: i miss the live TV musicals

[Neil Renic @NC_Renic]

Too many em dashes? What’s next? too much love? too much joy?

[JB 🐻✨🍉 @JBfromDC89]

“i asked chatgpt” “i asked grok” well i asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned

[Pop Base @PopBase]

‘King Of The Hill’ voice actor Jonathan Joss was murdered as the result of a homophobic hate crime, his husband says in new statement.

[gabe @allgarbled]

“Lmao” has survived, and even thrived, over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.