Prof. Haggis McTattie

Scottish inventor | Freedom of the city of West Calder | Six times runner up Her Majesty's Honours list | Every problem has a solution.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented weeds. I wanted to challenge the flowers.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the sledgehammer, for people that aren't interested in doing DIY properly.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the rain that starts just as you light the BBQ. You can't put a price on safety.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the zebra crossing. Who would have thought it would be used by humans one day.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented hold music. Repetition is the best form of learning.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the early morning bin lorry collection. Wakey wakey.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented Tab+Alt+Esc on your keyboard. It doesn't do anything - but makes you feel that, at least, you tried.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the overly bureaucratic expenses procedure. Saving companies billions across the globe.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the selfie. It's always helpful to be able to spot a narcissist from a distance.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the missing puzzle piece. It's not the completing, it's the taking part that counts.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the sticky pub carpet. Helps keep you upright when you've had too much to drink.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the shower curtain that is attracted to human skin. Saves water and keeps you dry.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented President Trump. I was angry.
#POTUS

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the hotel room keycard that deactivates when it's next to your mobile. Boosting the job satisfaction of night porters across the globe.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the decorative hotel bed cushion. Stimulating to both the eye and the immune system.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the toilet that dribbles all night and then doesn't flush when you need it.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented poor TV signal. It helps keep the imagination alive.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the typo. A reader should be challenged in more ways than one.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the green man that only stay on for a few seconds. Helps pedestrians lower cholesterol and helps keep traffic moving.

[Prof. Haggis McTattie @PMctattie]

I invented the wobbly café table - supporting the hospitality sector maintain customer turnover in these difficult times.