PROGRESS (PROGRESS NATION)

Get me to 1k please 🤗

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

🇪🇸 🇪🇸 Congratulations Spain!! 🇪🇸 🇪🇸

[Sexual Health coach @sxhealth101]

Once you see the red flags, stay quiet, enjoy the sex, and plan your exit slowly.

[Davido @davido]

CR 7

[CITYBOY @Boy994Boy]

Ur wife fit Dey use antenatal checkups dey cheat on you

I be uber driver I know these things.

[Bari 💣 @baridojonathan]

@dammiedammie35 @Esmart26 Brings me back to this video 😭

[BGM 🫧 @_raesparkles]

Went on date, he said he wasn’t hungry for now which made me the only one that ordered.

He stood up and said he wanted to use the toilet so I believed he has absconded as I’ve seen similar news on twitter

So I paid for my stuff and told them to pack for me cos I would be leaving any moment.

He came back to see my food packed and he said “ why did you pack the food or is this another one?” I told him I thought he wasn’t coming back.

He felt offended for thinking he wasn’t coming back so he asked to pay I said I have paid and I was about to leave.

He just blurted “ me run away because of 30k food?? Are you mad???” Omo everybody for that setting turned and were looking at us.

Shame wear me face cap, I wished the ground could open so I can seek asylum in it.

[Emmanuel....i ⚕️ @AshE_Nuel]

My Cousin's wedding is on the 20th of June, His Father in-law called him that he needs to book a flight for his family to attend their daughter's wedding.

The wife to be agreed with her family. The cousin said he doesn't have money that it's their daughter's wedding.

The father in-law said the wedding will not hold, my Cousin cancelled the wedding and broke up with wife to be.

I think everybody will be alright.

[Ebun @kenkenlewu]

My friend Chi ended her 6-year relationship on the very night her boyfriend proposed to her.

It happened just last month.

The atmosphere was perfect.

Then he stood up, took the microphone, and called her name.

Everyone became quiet.

He looked at her, went down on one knee, and said:

"My Chi, these six years with you have been the best years of my life.

Although you're not the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, your peace is incomparable.

Many times, my friends have asked me, 'What are you doing with this girl?'

I always tell them physical beauty can be worked on.

Will you marry me?"

The entire place erupted in cheers.

People brought out their phones.

Then Chi spoke.

And the whole room went silent.

"For years, you've always joked that our children would look like you because I'm not beautiful enough.

I thought you were joking.

Today, in front of everyone, you've finally said what you've always believed."

She took a step back.

Looked him straight in the eyes.

And said:

"No."

"I will not marry you."

Silence.

The music stopped.

She picked up her bag and walked out.

Just like that, six years ended in a few seconds💔💔

[Pressy🥰❤️ @teefehbaby]

Went to visit a guy and his friend gave him a keg to go buy fuel. I had to suggest we use that opportunity to walk and talk together so he wouldn’t feel embarrassed.

Bro code in the mud 💀

[Ebun @kenkenlewu]

My landlord hired me to MC his child's birthday party.

I charged ₦50,000.

He said, "No problem."

I worked for 3 hours, entertained guests, cracked jokes, and made sure everyone had a great time.

After the party, I approached him for my payment.

He smiled and said, "Tomorrow."

Tomorrow came. No alert.

A few days later, I met him again.

"Sir, my ₦50,000?"

He said, "Just deduct it from your next rent."

I laughed and said, "Sir, I've already paid rent for the next two years."

This man looked me straight in the eye and said:

"Then deduct it when you're paying for the third year." 😭

[Remi @Miss_Oluremi]

Yesterday was my boyfriend's birthday. He posted his picture on his WhatsApp status with a happy birthday caption.
Guess what happened after🤔 more than 5 girls texted him to send them 'birthday money'.

It is his own birthday, but he should be the one to press money 🤦🏽‍♀️ none of them asked why he hasn't been online. One even had the audacity to call and asked if she should send her account details. I didn't know when I took the phone from him and spoke words into her head.

The shamelessness in some girls these days is becoming overbearing.

[RUTH 🇨🇦 @it_Rutie]

I hope the news I’m hearing about Don Jazzy and Wande Coal is not true.

[Ebun @kenkenlewu]

I lent my neighbour ₦20,000 in August last year after she showed up at my flat by 6 a.m. promising to pay me back the next day.

A week later, she was still "sorting things out," so I stopped asking.

This year, she started rearing and selling chickens.

A few days ago, I bought two chickens from her at ₦13,500 each. After she delivered them, I sent her ₦7,000 and told her to deduct the remaining ₦20,000 from the debt she'd owed me for months.

Now she's telling everyone in the compound that I scammed her. 😂

The funniest part? Anywhere she sees me now, she starts singing one strange song😔

[DEE ❤ @Olami_deeEbony]

I remember when Etisalat Nigeria came to my school during SUG Week. They were selling raffle tickets for a chance to win a brand-new car.

You needed to see how everyone was buying tickets. Even me sef, I bought 5 tickets. Who no wan win free motor? 😂

But there was this particular guy who went all out and bought about 20 tickets.

On the day of the raffle draw, the organizers spun the tickets and picked a winner. The first winning ticket landed on this guy, but he was nowhere to be found.

They picked a second ticket. It landed on him again.

They picked a third ticket. Still him.

By this point, the crowd was already going crazy. People ran to his hostel looking for him, only to discover that he had travelled home for the weekend to see his parents.

After several attempts to reach him failed, the organizers had no choice but to draw another winner.

This time, the ticket belonged to a guy who had bought just one ticket.

He showed up, collected the car, and throughout my remaining years in school, I saw him driving that car everywhere.

Till today, I still wonder how the first guy must have felt each time he saw that car on campus, knowing it could have been his.

Life can change in a single moment. May we never be absent when our moment comes. 🙏

[Bola Ahmed Tinubu @officialABAT]

At my direction, following the visit of a high-level Federal Government delegation that I sent to the Esiele and Yawota communities in Oriire Local Government Area of Oyo State, I have approved the recruitment of 1,000 forest guards in collaboration with the Oyo State Government.

[Daniel Regha @DanielRegha]

Your administration continues to pardon bandits with the most unjustifiable excuses but you claim to be fighting insecurity? Be serious. You, Tinubu ,are expecting Nigerians to enlist as forest guards to do what exactly? What happened to all the security agencies Nigeria already have? The level of incompetence in your regime is appalling, and to think you heavily criticized Jonathan for not safeguarding the lives of Nigerians and yours turned out worse.

Resign!

[Olori Ajoke 🫅 @Orisunmibairemi]

I attended a wedding today, and it was just the bride, her bridesmaid, and me in the room.
When it was time to zip up her dress, the bridesmaid helped her and immediately said, “Ha Why is your back so black? Don’t you wash it?”
The bride instantly….

[Chiké @Officialchike]

Whenever you are not in my corner
I pity my soul

[YabaLeftOnline @yabaleftonline]

What a waste of boys code 😭

[Chiké @Officialchike]

Pity My Soul!