Paddy

[pavlo @LaughterHaver]

staying up all night to turn 27 like a kid on Christmas except when the clock strikes 12 I just grab my revolver and do something funny

[Beautiful Normal Woman @SillyBWoman]

Everything I say is a joke Unless you agree And in that case Speak to me privately I have even crazier ideas

[Miilato @miiilato]

jealous of how plants just die when something is slightly wrong

[Wolfie 🐺 @TheIgboWolf]

I rarely taste my food while cooking, I cook entirely on confidence and vibes so the finished product is always a surprise to me as much as it is to you.

If you eat my food and something is wrong, please know that I am also a victim and we are in this together.

[Beffy @beffybadbelly]

If Wales becomes independent does that mean we get our own passports with a fucking dragon on the front? oh my days

[Simon @MalkyDungeon]

I like how the Celtic areas are all green and all the English bits look like a Mordor hellscape

[Harry @hdwmovies]

I almost never drunk tweet but this one was important to me. I wrote this shit ON the dance floor

[mara @vixeias]

why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit. i use it to search up very obvious questions so there’s no record of me looking dumb

[ηιүα ♛ @niy2pretty]

I be at other ppl house turning their lights off

[Standard Reference Margot @sickfootfour]

cigarettes are like having a little killing yourself. as a treat

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

Patrick the Orangutan turns 34, receives a royal cloak, and then ties the perfect knot.

This guy is too smart to ever be in captivity.

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

got recommended journaling

[Sailing Soul 🇪🇸 @callmerikki]

why did you sell twitter to that man?!

[LORD FLACKO JODYE II @asvpxrocky]

DON’T BE DUMB

[e l l a 🇨🇦 @blondehotcoffee]

nightmare blunt rotation but it’s just myself at various ages

[uncle ric @ihatethiskid]

I wish people could still see my likes so they would know how good my sense of humor is and how correct the opinions I agree with are

[presh @impreshn]

If a girl ever tells you making beats is cringe show her this pic of Lana Del Rey cooking a fat beat on an MPC