Paige Chernick

I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books & my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

Why is the #GoldenGlobes red carpet set up like the stairs at the #MetGala?

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

If you think people want to see photos of your grandchildren, we don’t.

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

Do the people who are gambling in the Vegas airport baggage claim know there are actual casinos here? 🤔

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

Me when I saw what Lisette did to Carrie’s apartment. #AndJustLikeThat

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

I just want to say that @FanDuel’s commercials were so annoying that it made me upgrade my @peacock subscription so I never had to hear that woman’s voice again.

That’s it. That’s the tweet.

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

I sleep very well at night knowing I’ll never own a labubu.

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

Someone just told me “that’s what your 20’s are for” because they legit thought I was in my 20’s and I almost broke down in tears. 🥹

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

How did I get stuck on Mt Everest Tok?

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

I will watch anything with Nicole Kidman in it.

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

How have I donated 4 Fresh Direct bags filled with clothes this week and STILL have an over-packed closet? 😫

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

How do you kindly tell someone in front of you to STOP FUCKING HUMMING?!?

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

Egg matzoh is superior. I said what I said.

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

“What are you doing tomorrow night and do you have any clothes that you would describe as ‘Pop Princess who is secretly f*cking all the Spice Girls’?”

“I have been preparing for whatever this is for my entire life.”

#DyingForSex @jennyslate

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

Seeing the clever marketing tactics on April Fool’s Day is more exciting than opening presents on Hanukkah. You can quote me.

[Betches @betchesluvthis]

me after i make someone laugh #TheWhiteLotus

[rosenkav @rosenkav_]

Thinking of her this March 31st (and also all other days)

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

I’m glad I’ve been checking the weather for Orlando, NY all week instead of Orlando, FL… 🤦🏼‍♀️

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

Shame on @hulu for allowing Kanye West to appear on @kardashianshulu AND playing his music. Any scene with him should be edited out.

[alli @sonofalli]

it’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands

[Paige Chernick @PaigeKnowsFirst]

Woman on the street: “Your dog is so cute, I really like his jacket!”
Me: “Aw thanks, she’s a girl.”
*Dog immediately walks over to tree and lifts her leg.*
Me: “She identifies as an Alpha.” 😳