Susan Paliotta @PaliottaSusan - Twitter Profile

8 days ago

12 Things Kids Need From the Caring Adults in Their Lives As a therapist, educator, former principal, and parent, I've learned something that both research and experience continue to reinforce: Children don't need perfect adults. They need caring adults who consistently show up. The small moments day after day are often what shape a child's confidence, character, and future. 1. Your Presence Why it helps: Feeling seen and valued is one of the strongest protective factors for mental health. Try this: Put your phone away for 10 uninterrupted minutes. Listen. Make eye contact. Be fully there. 2. Unconditional Love Why it helps: Kids thrive when they know love isn't earned through perfect behavior. Try this: Correct the behavior without rejecting the child. Remind them, "I love you no matter what." 3. Calm During Their Storm Why it helps: A regulated adult helps regulate a child's nervous system. Try this: Slow your breathing, lower your voice, and respond instead of react. 4. Encouragement More Than Criticism Why it helps: What we notice grows. Encouragement builds confidence and resilience. Try this: Catch them doing something right every day and tell them specifically what you noticed. 5. Safe Boundaries Why it helps: Consistent expectations create security and predictability. Try this: Be firm, fair, and consistent. Explain the "why" whenever possible. 6. Natural & Logical Consequences Why it helps: Kids learn best when consequences are connected to their choices—not meant to shame or punish. Try this: If a toy is left outside, it may be unavailable for a while. If homework isn't finished, they experience the school consequence. Focus on learning, not revenge. 7. Responsibilities That Matter Why it helps: Chores build confidence, responsibility, independence, and a sense of belonging. Kids feel proud when they know they're contributing. Try this: Give age-appropriate jobs at home and thank them for helping the family—not because they're paid, but because they're part of the team. 8. Someone Who Believes in Them Why it helps: Sometimes children borrow our belief until they develop their own. Try this: Remind them of past successes and say, "I believe you can do hard things." 9. Patience While They're Learning Why it helps: Kids aren't born knowing how to regulate emotions, solve problems, or communicate well. Those are learned skills. Try this: Ask, "What skill do I need to teach?" before asking, "How do I stop this behavior?" 10. Opportunities to Be Heard Why it helps: Children who feel heard are more likely to trust you and come to you when life gets hard. Try this: Listen to understand before trying to fix. 11. Hope Why it helps: Kids learn resilience by watching how trusted adults respond to setbacks. Try this: Let them hear you say, "This is hard... and we'll figure it out together." 12. Joy Why it helps: Play, laughter, and shared experiences strengthen relationships and become lifelong memories. Try this: Play a game. Go for a walk. Tell silly jokes. Laugh often. Childhood should include plenty of joy. At the end of the day, kids probably won't remember every toy you bought or every lecture you gave. But they'll remember how you made them feel. Safe. Loved. Heard. Capable. Valued. The greatest gift we can give a child isn't perfection. It's a caring adult who shows up, believes in them, and keeps showing up—even on the hard days. One caring adult can change the trajectory of a child's life. Join a community of educators, mental health professionals & other caring adults at the “Maslow Before Bloom” Facebook group: https://t.co/ISWliSZQkh

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Susan Paliotta

@PaliottaSusan

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