Pamela Andrews

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

@WestJet Hey WestJet. You cancelled my flight and left me stranded in the Dominican Republic 24 hours before we were to leave. You have yet to reach out offering another flight or help at all.

[caprice crane @capricecrane]

The upshot of all of this Rob Ford stuff is that Canadians finally have something real to apologize for.

[Sara Thomas @SaraThomas84]

Lost ten pounds after a tonsillectomy. Plan on getting my appendix removed this winter to make up for overeating during the holidays

[Corey Paterson @Midgetspar]

I'll grow my beard out just so I can knock on a strangers door & whisper, "I'm here to pick your kid up for prom. Either one. I don't care."

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

RT @bulls_horns: I added everything I spent on Christmas gifts to the tab I'm giving my kid when he turns 18 and I kick him out of the house

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

WagJag is giving away an Apple Prize Pack, if you win then I get one too! http://t.co/LY8qg9mb

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

prankdial is awesome! you can prank call friends, make the caller id anything, and even record the prank free! http://t.co/NjmWnNSI

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

Just taught my two year old how to use the controller. Now I really don't have to lift a finger today.

[Pax Paxochka @Paxochka]

I like you. But I also like smarties I found on the floor, so don't get too excited about it.

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

RT @bulls_horns: When I see a shopping cart on the side of the road I always say a little prayer for the missing homeless guy.

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

@Lauren_hgton noboday will love us as much as...

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

Dear Vodka; I love you.

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

If your fetish happens to be vomit or shit, google "what does bear poop look like". If you happen to know the ... http://tmi.me/cJy5o

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

On my way to the great north. All I packed was vodka. This is going to be a great weekend.

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

Shit. Those kids took forever to leave. I better start chugging now to meet my 11pm vodka quota.

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

I've got a couple kids up for grabs. They'd probably do well for some sort of child labor, it's just not working over here.

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

I'm officially the neighbor with the annoying barking dog. She's lucky she's so pretty and we aren't Chinese.

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

RT @VerifyThis: Why do my kids think I am supposed to provide several well balanced meals throughout the day? It's ... http://tmi.me/cDwyu

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

UFC fights remind me of how delicate my pretty face is, and how normal my ears look.

[Pamela Andrews @PamAndrews]

I have the mother of all headaches that I'm going to try and drink away tonight.