“Viktor Krum? Really Parks?”
“What’s the big deal? I moved on, you moved on well I might’ve moved on better-“
“It’s not a competition.”
“No but you feel like a loser don’t you?”
“If this is all an elaborate scheme to get me back-“
“Grown confident haven’t we? No, it’s not.”
“I’m sorry- your ex took over as matron at Hogwarts and I’m only just now finding out because you two are in charge of planning the Yule Ball?”
“It slipped my mind.”
“You see her more than you do me and it slipped your bloody mind?”
“I knew you’d overreact.”
“Obviously!”
“Same time next week, Auror Longbottom?” Pansy asked, blowing a plume of smoke from her lips.
“Not a word.”
“Your word against mine, remember?”
“You’d do well to.”
“Hmph, do that more, it’s better than the good guy act.”
“It’s not an act.”
“No? Say hi to your wife for me.”
“Neville is in love with Hannah, what does he have to do to prove it to you all?”
“You didn’t see how he looked at you.”
“Look, we have a child and that’s the only reason we see each other.”
“Exactly, YOU two have a child THEY have nothing.”
“It’s not a competition, Draco.”
Okay, so if inviting her husband to their divorce party was a bad idea & allowing him to apparate her home was a worse one- then, waking up naked in his new bachelor pad was definitely the WORST.
That would be the last time she listened to Hermione Granger’s advice on anything-
“No Neville I don’t want to go on a bloody picnic!”
“Why not?”
“Cause none of my stupid jeans fit anymore!”
“I was actually hoping you’d wear a-“
“I don’t care! Look at this,” she cried out, motioning to her ass.
“I do, often.”
“Shut up! You did this- you keep feeding me!”
“You and Abbott ought to start making your own movies, she rivals all those muggle actresses with that scream of her.”
“What are you thinking, horror or something a bit more obscene?”
“Oh you know, who can tell.”
“If i didn’t know any better I’d say you want to watch.”
“Eww.”
“Well if that’s YOUR definition of intimacy-“
“I think you need a shag, maybe then you’ll be less concerned about what-“
“That wasn’t a shag Longbottom, she sounded like she was being murdered!”
“I’ll charm the walls next time.”
“Gods no wonder you can’t keep a roommate.”
1/
“Oof- is that a problem? Oh Merlin- it’s cause your father’s in St-“
“No! Let’s please not talk about my parents right now- it just shocked me. I didn’t think you-“
“Had daddy issues?”
“Suppose it makes sense all things considered.”
“So that’s a no on the name calling?”
“What happened here?” Neville asked, eyeing Pansy’s once dark hair- now platinum.
“You don’t like it?”
“I mean why?”
“You hate it oh my gods!”
“No! No I’m just confused. Why did you do it?”
“You-Abbott and Lovegood I just thought maybe you preferred blondes-“
“Merlin Pans.”
Pansy chased after Neville, it was surprisingly easy in the flats she was condemned to wearing as a punishment for dating a man shorter than her.
“I didn’t mean it like that!” She argued. “c’mon you have to understand my side of things,” she let out a sigh.
Thank you @PanvillePrompts for the inspiration! I couldn’t resist writing a fic about them. If you want to, you can read it here https://t.co/5l73NRx6vE
They’d been talking for three weeks, he was nice- cute if he wasn’t a catfish, a reservation at her favourite restaurant was perfect. She walked in, spied him sitting there- not a catfish- it was perfect. Until he stood up to greet her- oh no. His profile said he was 6’3. Fuck.
Pansy wasn’t too keen on mini golf for a second date but after the stares she’d gotten the week prior, she needed a date that didn’t require her usual heels.
She wanted to see Neville again, his height be damned. She just needed some time to get over her preferences is all.
“Why DID you and Abott break up? I’m not a literal home wrecker am I?”
“Course not, she knows I have no feelings for you.”
“Ouch.”
“I just mean- she knows we’re just roommates.”
“Then?”
“She wants kids.”
“You don’t?”
“We weren’t even married yet.”
“Hm, your pureblood-
“I never thought a slytherin could care for a gryffindor,” Neville teased.
“Yet you opened your home to me knowing full well I could slaughter you in your sleep.”
“You could do that while I’m awake.”
“Instead I’m treating your burns- use a mitt next time? Areal one,” she-
This *is* my groundskeeper Neville and Royal Pansy maybe with her trying to teach herself to swim in the pond and almost drowning and him having to save her????!!!!!