“Good morning babe, I’m getting ready now. Meet you at the apartment tour in a bit? ❤️”
Before I could even respond, my side chick who spent the night was already taking care of my morning wood.
My girl really expects me to move in with her and lose all this?
“You’re 18 now, just because you’re my girl’s little sister doesn’t mean you get to live here for free.
So you can either get a job and pay me rent, or you can do what your sister does to not pay rent…
Thats what I thought, now open up.”
My stepdaughter called from college asking to get picked up from a party.
When she got in the car she was drunk and high.
She kept rubbing me through my pants and begging me not to tell her mom.
I took her in the backseat and gave us both a secret to keep from her mom.
My ex loves to come over before I go on a date with my girlfriend.
She loves draining my balls knowing I’m gunna be thinking about her the entire time I’m out with my girlfriend.
When we redesigned the backyard, my wife thought the hanging chair I wanted was a stupid decision.
“You’re never gunna use that thing.”
If only she knew I use it almost daily when the girl next door comes over while she’s at work.
I secretly picked up my girl’s friends from the airport so they could get ready for the surprise party I planned her.
When I went to check on them, I guess you can say we got carried away.
We fucked like we used to before my girl and I moved away.
My wife said the RV was an eyesore on the driveway and told me to move it or get rid of it.
I ended up parking it behind the restaurant I own.
A couple of the servers and I found a different way to make it more useful.