The ParentNormal

Chris Cate, dad of 3. Coming Soon….

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

Never get comfortable.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

Say hello if you're at the Mom 2.0 Summit today in Nashville! It's one of the best parenting conferences in America. I'll be speaking from 2-3:30pm about how I've gone from making memes to publishing 28 books through my @wordplaygroundhog indie publishing business.

#mom2summit

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

What age do kids learn to entertain themselves?? 😩😂

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

@mjf_dfw You’re right. 😂

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

Neighbors: (Boom, Boom, Blast) I could do fireworks all night! This is the best!

Parents: The kids are gonna be awake all night. This is the worst!

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

Happy Independence Day! I'll be celebrating with kids who dictate everything I do or even think of doing.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

You can search the entire internet faster than a kid can search their room for a pair of shoes in the middle of their room.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

If you think texting and driving is dangerous, you don’t want to know how dangerous it is to be parenting and driving.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

Threenagers talk like everything they say is a "reply all" message to everybody in the room with them.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

The only thing kids hate more than getting in a bath is getting out of a bath.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

It's impossible to pick up after kids. Seriously. You can’t pick up after people who never pick up anything the first time.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

A toddler's arch nemesis is a closed door.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

Kids do follow the five-second rule. It’s just that they believe five seconds is a VERY long time.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

Toddlers always go the extra mile... when they are running away from you in a public place.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

Toddlers dance the same way they cry: without inhibition.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

Never throw away empty toilet paper rolls. That's wasting completely good telescopes.
- Kids

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

Kids can hear the opening of a pantry or refrigerator from 250 miles away.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

Toddlers are great at whispering if whispering means talking as quietly as they shout.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

A consequence of having kids is always having rotten bananas too. There is no way to buy the right amount of bananas for kids.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

Booster seats are excellent for helping toddlers who aren’t quite tall enough to crawl onto the kitchen table.

[The ParentNormal @ParentNormal]

You will always know if your kid was playing in a sandbox because the sandbox will fall out of their shoes as soon as they take them off.