Ralphie Parker Reality Tour

21st century Ralphie. Wholesome wisdom from a sweet six year-old

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

Geesh. Mom thinks I like salmon
Blech

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

If there was a candle named after me it would smell like a freshly sharpened pencil, pine trees, and sparked bb gun powder

[AftenBrook is literally on literary hiatus @aftenbrook]

If there was a candle named after me it would smell like sawdust, fresh book pages, and fresh out of the dryer socks.

I’m not sure that would be a hot item, but it’s very me

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

Bud: Mom when I have kids I need you to explain to them what Dr Who is

Mom: don’t you want to do that?

Bud: No. Do you know how annoying it would be to pause the show to tell them ‘that’s a Dalek’?!

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

Not a “theme”!!!!

*all writing assignments in 3rd grade*

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

But... the bell rang!

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

Wear a mask kid!

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

standing in line—kid in front of me has no mask and is wearing aviator glasses

kid turns to me—a mouth breather

Him: I like the tin man

Blinkingly, I contemplate the consequences of flicking his exposed nose in response or maybe moving spots in line

Me: yeah

I’m 9 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

😳😱Mom!
Ew

[AftenBrook is literally on literary hiatus @aftenbrook]

Trying to explain to your husband how a 32 year old Goblin King dressed in drag with pants so tight you knew he was still a dude, singing to a 16 yo trauma victim was the greatest thing to come out of the 80s...

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

Small towns on Friday night have resorted to driving Main Street and honking constantly

Can’t turn left

How can you tell an accident from the incessant honking?

Why is this a thing?

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

I was born a performer

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

Ralphie foresees braces in his future...

[AftenBrook is literally on literary hiatus @aftenbrook]

Oh my goodness!!! I did not expect to see this today and it literally brought joy-tears to my eyes.
Thank you 💕
#bookreview #bookreviewers #amreading #amwriting #cheatcode #sequel #BookBoost #booknerd #literary #reviews #scifi #scifibooks #code #coder

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

Oh FUDGE

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

My mom came right out of Diary of a Wimpy Kid...

#bookmom #ralphieparker #ralphie #christmasstory #diaryofawimpykid #dancemom #facepalm #kidsofwriters #readerslife #goofynomics #amreading

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

Candy is better than red cabbage Mom.
#ralphieinreallife #ralphie #christmasstorylife #christmasstory

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

Merry Christmas

[AftenBrook is literally on literary hiatus @aftenbrook]

While you’re waiting for #CHEATCODE Book 2 to come out, take the time to nominate Cheat Code under YA speculative fiction 💕
#awards #scifi #book2coming #nominate #bookishwish #amreading #amloving

https://t.co/xIkmAPmEJU

[AftenBrook is literally on literary hiatus @aftenbrook]

Here’s the big reveal!

I’m an official jr. Literary Agent for GWL.

💕🤗💕

I’ve always had a love of reading and writing, as well as cheering on my literary friends. Representing Works I… https://t.co/miUyJtfsoL

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

I’m the child of a what now?
#agentkids #writerslife #ralphieparker #ralphieboy #mohm #booknerdigankids

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

This is good Mohm

But aren’t you a little 80s to be using hardcore?

😘
#sonofawriter
#ralphieparker https://t.co/RTSYnV87dD

[AftenBrook is literally on literary hiatus @aftenbrook]

Pursue your Talents
Hardcore.

#writerslife #storytelling #amediting #amrevising #editgoal #amediting #writecount #writegoal #writechat

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

Disappearing screw trick goes much better than the disappearing lug nut trick...

#ralphieparker #ralphie #trick #screwthat #renovation

[Ralphie Parker Reality Tour @ParkerTour]

Mohm!
You said, “Don’t write on yourself!”

Explain this!

#cheatcodebook #cheatcode #booklifekids #ralphie https://t.co/jo8tq70MXQ

[AftenBrook is literally on literary hiatus @aftenbrook]

I love this so much
Cheat Code Book Trailer https://t.co/Soggk8FbLA via @YouTube