Parth Parikh

[Larry @Tom & Marty's @tomandmartys]

Crisis PR firm: You need to get out in front of this and own your mistake.
Garrett: Okay. I’ll blame the marketing department.
PR: No. You are the founder and face of Good Good. Put it on you.
Garrett: okay. I’ll say it was poorly edited and that I hated it too when it was posted.
PR: I don’t think you understand how bad you are being perceived.
Garrett: Yeah but a bunch of weirdos with 11 followers have been posting awful things too. I should show how they are worse.
PR: This isn’t working. Just say you are committed to growing the game of golf. It works for every other greedy dipshit to justify their actions.
Garrett: Great idea. This will make all this go away!

[Sam Morril @sammorril]

I haven’t seen Jerry Jones this upset since they passed the Civil Rights Act

[Josiah Johnson @KingJosiah54]

“Dillon Brooks will not be suspended”

Lakers fans:

[Ballsack Sports @BallsackSports]

This is one of the coldest hesi’s I’ve seen

[Van Lathan Jr @VanLathan]

Lakers gotta play their asses off now. If he breaks the record in a loss Skip Bayless will cum in his depends

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

Big dick energy

[Mr.Karlous @KarlousM]

Drake done turned into a Puerto Rican coke dealer.

[Mr. lindsay lohan daddy @TheBeezeKnees]

Drake said

[Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi @roywoodjr]

President Biden has ordered all bodegas to fly the flag at half staff this week, out of respect.

[Parth Parikh @ParthParikh6]

@cornpopisbad @DemDieHard @3YearLetterman @ClayTravis Honestly just an all around fantastic tweet. We’ll executed. 10/10

[Parth Parikh @ParthParikh6]

@XXXMEEZY Vessel or Monk… great odds and both put up the shots

[Rob Perez @WorldWideWob]

all Westbrook’s pump fake does is give the defender more time to go get the rebound.

[Parth Parikh @ParthParikh6]

@Venmo @parth-parikh @CooperKupp

[Lil Samsquanch @lilsamsquanch66]

I can't even bare to imagine the thought of never meeting the broskis

[Jacoby @djacoby]

Big Ben is def asleep right now

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

At this point, it’s only fair to acknowledge that she’s not just Adele, she’s Thedele.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Conservatives Blast Simone Biles For Robbing Them Of Opportunity To Criticize Her Win https://t.co/dlDN5f3UIL

[Footballism @FootbaIIism]

The only way to stop Tom Brady from getting another ring

[Desus MF Nice💯 @desusnice]

How you have 6.9 billion and you’re still dreaming?